This morning, my neighbor across the street picked up my Mom to take her shopping. My Mom can’t drive because she’s 82 and it’s no longer safe. Before I got brain cancer over a year ago, I would have taken her, but I am not supposed to drive right now.
After my lovely neighbor picked up Mom, my boyfriend picked me up. While we were watching Spiderman: No Way Home, my neighbor called. Mom had forgotten her house key. I was some distance away.
However, a former neighbor still had a copy. Years ago, we’d exchanged copies of our keys in case of emergency.
A few days before she moved, she came over to pick my copy of her keys for the new owners. She had planned to bring my keys over, but had accidentally left them in her other purse.
It was no problem, she’d been my neighbor for 14 years. I’d seen her oldest daughter grow from an adorable moppet to a newlywed. I trusted her.
When Mom was locked out, I called her to see if she could help. Her new house was only about 10 minutes away, and she was happy to drive over and let Mom in. In the meantime, the neighbor who had taken Mom shopping brought her into her kitchen out of the Texas heat, along with her groceries.
I have other neighbors and friends who, when they found out I had cancer and was no longer physically able to take care of many things, stepped up to the plate. One neighbor’s kids take my trash to the curb and mow my lawn. A friend in one of my Bible studies sent her gardener over one day to trim my bushes. Another friend from church trimmed a tree that needed it.
Other friends have taken me to doctors’ appointments and to my radiation treatments. One friend has driven almost an hour each way to do this for me.
These people are my community. They are not Facebook friends or online friends or virtual friends. They are real friends. Of course, we do communicate on social media. But we also make sure to have face time.
It’s not hard to form a community with neighbors. Here are some tips:
- When you move into a new house or apartment, make an effort to meet at least some of your neighbors.
- If someone new moves into your neighborhood, take over some banana bread to help them feel welcome. When we moved into our house, a neighbor brought over a six pack. Hey, at least it told us the natives were friendly!
- Acts of kindness multiply. With the neighbor who had my keys — when she first moved in, her daughter was struggling with math. I offered to help her out. We had a few afternoons together, working problems. Years later, this lady had taken me several times to get medications for myself and Mom, when I could no longer drive. When she moved, she told us she lived close enough, she would be happy to keep doing that for us.s.
- Don’t intrude. It’s good to be friendly, but, unless you are dropping off treats, don’t go over uninvited and don’t be nosy.
- If you see something they might be interested in, next time you say “hi” to each other, let them know about it.
- Go for a walk. Take your dog or your child for a walk. Stroll with your partner or by yourself. This is a great way to meet neighbors. I used to meet all sorts of people walking my cat, because people were astonished to see a cat going on a walk.
I am sure there are other things. Feel free to respond with other ways to build community.
I am really grateful for the neighbors, friends, community I’ve got. They are blessings in my life.
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This post was previously published on Shefali O’Hara’s blog.
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