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Interactions between unacquainted straight men in public are apathetic at best. None of the “where’d ya get that” or “work it, guy” that I had hoped for after watching a season of Queer Eye. For some strange reason, that changed when I grew a beard.
About twice a week, I get acknowledgments ranging from a mutual nod and smile from another beadsman to an overt compliment on the hair that my face has been pushing out. It has been such a novel and pleasant addition to my life, and it took some time for me to understand why it feels so different. The sad truth — this is the very first time that many men have acknowledged my presence at all. I am so used to being dismissed, ignored, or grimaced at, that the simple act of noticing me is revolutionary.
While I would love to see a world full of beards, that is not what I am pushing for here. What we do need is a spreading of affirmation, love, and appreciation of our fellow man. By normalizing the sharing of positivity and warmth between guys, we can do away with the unspoken sense of mutual hostility that we have grown to expect at the gym, bar, and world in general (it’s weird, guys, simmer down).
Rather than viewing the strangers, you see through a lens of competition or comparison, push yourself to celebrate and compliment them. It feels nice to be noticed, but it is even sweeter to walk through the world with your guard down. All that said, I would also definitely like to see you grow out the face fur.
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Photo courtesy iStock.