Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is a disorder that’s been in the news a lot lately, and there are many wonderful organizations that have sprung up to help sufferers cope with their everyday lives in the wake of their personal experiences. Despite this, a stigma still exists surrounding the diagnosis, particularly among military men. While PTSD is not exclusive to military members, affecting first responders and others completely outside of these fields, for the purposes of this article, I’d like to focus on military men. Their experiences with PTSD, social gender expectations of men, and the environment in which they work makes this group particularly unique.
I was a military spouse for 15 years, and saw a lot of military men suffer physical and mental trauma not only abroad, but also in the field at home, in training. What the general public may not understand is that even in the field, military undergoing training are also subjected to accidents and death caused by malfunctioning equipment, weather conditions, unstable terrain, medical emergencies, and vehicular accidents. When I first married into the military, PTSD was rarely, if ever, discussed in our circles. Now, on top of hearing the incredible stories of survivors who are now living with the disorder, I am also hearing a lot of judgment and criticism from the general public. I’m also seeing and hearing about those who are most likely living with the disorder that won’t report it.
One of the reasons that it’s under-reported by male military personnel is that everyone has different ways of dealing with the grief and shock that goes along with it. PTSD is characterized by a variety of symptoms that follow a traumatic experience, but which don’t resolve themselves after a period of weeks or months. Flashbacks and nightmares are some of the most commonly recognized features of the disorder. Some suffer from depression, survivor’s guilt, sleep disorders, anxiety, and difficulty returning to their normal lives, to name a few.
According to research, men who’ve been in combat are more likely to have experienced traumatic events than women, yet service women are more often diagnosed with PTSD. One of the reasons for this is that men may exhibit different symptoms of PTSD than women, being more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol, and they are more likely to exhibit behavioral problems than women such as irritability and aggression. One study of U.S. military troops returning from war found that half of those suffering from PTSD don’t seek treatment, and many who do, don’t follow through on that treatment.
Those suffering from PTSD do not owe anyone an explanation about their experiences, diagnosis, treatment, or the coping mechanisms they use.
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Some of the problems facing military men who are hesitant to report their symptoms include some pretty complex factors. Some feel that they are expected to be the stereotypical male that’s strong and resilient. Our perception of the typical male soldier is that of the hero, someone who has served their country in active duty, put their lives at risk, done what most people wouldn’t. There is an expectation of strength and fortitude of these men. This is an expectation that some feel they must live up to. Some are afraid that reporting symptoms will threaten or end their military career, chances of promotion, or prevent them from being deployed again.
Some are afraid of the stigma that’s attached to men who come forward, as PTSD is not always clearly understood by family members, friends, and the general community, and they fear the judgment and criticism that may follow from those who don’t understand. Others may be the main breadwinner in the family, and fear the loss of their income. Some don’t want to let their Unit down, or feel that they owe their Unit something. None of these issues is easy to overcome; as my father once quoted to me, “that which is perceived to be real is real in the mind of the beholder.” No matter how much a person is suffering, these fears and other obstacles may prevent them from seeking the help that they so badly need and deserve.
Complicating the matter is the fact that not all men returning from combat will return with the disorder, even if they have been exposed to the very traumas that can trigger the disorder. While researchers are trying to understand this, the community needs to learn to understand that these men are all unique, and will all have a different response in the face of similar events. New research is suggesting that an individual’s past experiences may increase the likelihood of developing PTSD with subsequent exposures. Regardless, these men need to know that it’s okay to admit that something is wrong, seek treatment, and deal with it in the way that works best for them, and know that they will be fully supported by their families, friends, and the military community.
If I had to boil everything down to one message, it would be this: The stigma that male soldiers should be strong and heroic needs to be broken.
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I was horrified when a neighbor once told me that a soldier that lived down the street from us was in hospital for PTSD treatment, and then whispered “but he’s never been overseas, so it’s bullshit – he just wants out.” What she didn’t know was that that soldier had been present at the rollover of a vehicle on a training exercise that had resulted in the grisly death of one of his best friends, and he had been the first to respond. It shocked me that the wife of another soldier could be so judgmental. Another soldier came back from an overseas deployment with severe PTSD, and eventually was paired with a PTSD Service Dog, which was prescribed by his doctor. It shocked me when members of the military community questioned the usefulness of the dog, and accused him of being an attention-seeker. Those suffering from PTSD do not owe anyone an explanation about their experiences, diagnosis, treatment, or the coping mechanisms they use.
If I had to boil everything down to one message, it would be this: The stigma that male soldiers should be strong and heroic needs to be broken. They, and we, need to recognize that being involved in combat training and operations takes a toll on them emotionally. They see and experience things most of us couldn’t imagine, and they come back changed men. It needs to be okay for men to stand up and say, “I need help.” The unshakeable male war hero doesn’t exist, and he never did. There is no PTSD G.I. Joe doll. It’s time to change our thinking, and stop thrusting the ideal of the battle-hardened war hero on them, and replace it with education, understanding, empathy, and support. Male or female, we’re all human, and these men need to feel comfortable seeking out help.
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Much of what you discuss is not PTSD, but “moral injury”. There is some overlap of symptoms, but survivor guilt, along with the guilt of doing something against your conscience, or not doing enough to save someone is textbook moral injury.
Interesting. I’ve never considered that. I experienced a few horrendous events when in the service, but none have had lasting effect, remorse, guilt. Granted, they are not even remotely close to what some of the guys on the ground faced every day, but I neither think nor talk about it. It’s behind me, as are other disjointing events in my life. Oddly enough, a few events that have stuck with me were very different. I used to dive deep water. I’ve gone into the water on four occasions to rescue. It is not the three that I remember, but the… Read more »
It IS interesting how the mind works. It’s always fascinated me, which is why I majored in Psychology. I don’t think we’ll ever fully understand how the human mind works. Traumatic events can have such different effects on people, and that’s what we need to learn to understand and accept. Regardless of the incident, it can affect two different people in very different ways. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I’m so sorry you lost your friend. WRT the attempted rescue, we can only do so much – I think it’s in our nature to always question whether… Read more »
Tessa, this is a great article, but I take exception with one of your key points. Being “strong and heroic” isn’t a stigma. This belief that you are bigger and badder than the average bear is a critical mindset often required to do the things we do in the military. What you accurately hit on at other points in your article is the breaking of the stigma against asking for help. As a military community, I think we need to re-frame this much as we do our other training. Seeking and receiving help is the best way we CAN support… Read more »
Thank you so much for your well-thought-out comment Josh. You’re correct, the bravery you mention that allows military members to do what they do is definitely an essential. To clarify, I was referring more to the expectation that male soldiers should be strong and heroic, or unshakeable, regardless of their traumatic experiences; that it makes people uncomfortable when a soldier is shaken by their experiences and needs help. I hope that clarifies things? Thank you for your service, and stay safe over there!
True that.
I think, also, Josh, that when we get out we lose that amazing support system, those friends that are more then friends, the guys that will be there no matter what, the self contained, independent unity of the men and women of the Corps itself.
Losing that, in an of itself, is a shock to the system.
Some veterans don’t realize they have PTSD though they are aware of its existence. One of my brothers who is a Vietnam veteran found this out last year during a routine physical at a local V.A. hospital. During a short conversation with a counselor about an unrelated subject, she invited him to a sit down chat in her office. He says he was crying like a baby by the time their chat was over. During later sessions, he said he’d learned things about himself that he’d subconsciously buried in his mind, and now feels like a new man.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Matthew, I think there are a lot of folks living with PTSD who aren’t aware of it. Sometimes, symptoms don’t even exhibit themselves until years or even decades later when a memory is refreshed or they experience another traumatic event. There is some excellent research going on right now, and I really hope that through sharing, those who are suffering in silence or without realizing it will be able to work through their experiences and have the life they deserve. I’m so glad to hear that your brother is doing well now!
I appreciate your thoughts. I had served 3 tours Nam in a helicopter squadron. I received several meritorious commendations for my actions, ye my PTSD came from something unspeakable in 196. I was raped by superior while on ship while in the zone. While trying to report the offense I was threatened by direct superior. Natural flight or flight responses were out of the question, and I was trapped on a ship with my aggressor, and yet expected to preform my search and rescue duties. I have been paying for that for 47 years, and have been an inconvenience by… Read more »
Thank you for sharing your very personal story with us, Larry. I’m planning to address under- and un-reported male rape in another article I’m working on. Male rape is rarely reported, and rape in the military in general, even today, is under-reported in large part because of fear of the chain of command. I’m sad to say that I’ve heard similar stories to yours, and heard the C.O.s dismiss them as an attempt to blacken the name of the offenders. Men in superior positions who rape often get away with it, only to repeat it again and again. Please feel… Read more »
There was a movie back in 2012 title The Invisible War about widespread, systematic rape of military men and women and the negative consequences they face for trying to get justice and the military turning its back on them and retaliating against them.
Oh, I’ll have to look into that, thanks for the tip!
You are welcome. The film never got wide-screening throughout the USA; however, it did win an award at the Sundance Film Festival
It’s a pity that there is such a stigma attached to a PTSD diagnosis. I’ve known too many people who were clearly suffering from it, yet because of that, they refused to seek treatment for it.
I would encourage anyone who knows someone secretly suffering from PTSD to be as supportive as possible, and let them know that this is a NORMAL reaction to horrific experiences. If you see someone suffering from depression as a result of PTSD, or who seems suicidal, just be a listening ear – and encourage them to seek out resources to help them out.
“Those suffering from PTSD do not owe anyone an explanation about their experiences, diagnosis, treatment, or the coping mechanisms they use.”
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
I dealt with PTSD after being raped, and was glad I found what I did to help me get through it (I write about it in my blog), and I feel judged sometimes for the method of my choice.
I’m so glad to see someone advocating for support, rather than judgment. Thank you so much for writing this. It needs to be said more often.
Thank you for sharing your story with me Juana – I hope more people will come forward and express how they feel judged for their diagnosis and their coping mechanisms of choice. Perhaps then we will see some change in the attitudes towards PTSD. As a society in general, we need to learn to be more empathetic towards others, and learn how to support them, rather than judge them.