People struggle with self-image, and that’s relatively normal. It’s when it gets to the point where you don’t feel that you should be allowed to be happy that it becomes a problem. That is particularly relevant when it comes to finding love. Most human beings want to be loved, cared for, and appreciated. We grow up in a society that is urging us to find a partner, settle down, have a family, a house, and a dog, but that’s not how everybody wants to live. Some people are happy to have a group of close friends rather than a partner. There’s no “right way” to live your life. Each person has their journey, but one of the universal human needs and wants is to find love. Love means something different for each person, and when you think you don’t deserve love or you’re not good enough to receive it, that’s something that needs to be addressed.
What is love to you?
Love is something that we all want, but it looks different for different people. What I think love is could be completely different from how your view it. We all want love, but some of us don’t believe that they deserve to be loved, and that’s a problem. It becomes an issue when someone thinks “I’m not good enough to find love.” Maybe they think that they’re too crazy to find love. Possibly, they think that they’re being punished for something and that’s why they’re not allowed, in their mind, to be loved. Or, maybe, they came from an abusive background.
Abuse
People that were abused have been conditioned to think that there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. That’s how the abuser controls a person. So, if you grow up in a household where as a child you’re told “you’re not good enough,” “you’re ugly,” “you are bad,” and anything else that indicates that you are, as a person, fundamentally “flawed” you are likely not going to believe that you deserve to be loved. That is complete and utter nonsense. Every human being deserves love, and when they are deprived of this basic need, they’re neglected. Neglect is a form of abuse that can cause severe psychological damage to children that lasts into adulthood.
Withholding love
Removing love from a human being is cruel and abusive. If you have survived emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or all of the above, you are still a human being. You matter, and you deserve love. Just because your “caregivers” or guardians did not provide you with nurturing, it does not mean that you don’t deserve happiness. Are you good enough? Do you deserve love? The answers to these questions is a resounding “yes, you are absolutely and without a doubt good enough to be loved.”
Good enough
Question your thoughts. What does “good enough” mean, anyway? There is no “enough.” You are a person who has needs and wants, and they’re valid. You are you, and you are beautiful. You were born “enough,” and you will always inherently be enough as a human being. You have unique qualities that the right person is going to appreciate. The right individual will come along, and they will recognize how beautiful you are. That is when you will find love.
Love isn’t about being enough
The truth is that love doesn’t have anything to do with being good enough. It’s about finding the person who sees you for who you are, and who you are is beautiful. One way that you can work on finding love is to find yourself. How do you do that? The first thing that you need to do is go to therapy. See a counselor. Whether you’re working with a counselor online or in your local neighborhood, they will help you find yourself. That is the first step to finding love.
This is a featured post by site sponsor Better Help.
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