There are other ways to enjoy mind-blowing intimacy with your partner –here’s one that is as simple as just breathing…
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Being a fully impotent man has its advantages. You tend to be much more open to exploring many different ways of expressing and receiving intimacy. One of the more significant and unusual ways my partner and I experience profound intimacy is simply through our synchronized breathing, no touching required.
Here’s how you and your partner can enjoy this exchange of intimate “energy.” This exchange can be so powerful that the last time we did it I nearly ended up on the floor convulsing (in a good way).
Three Dimensions of Intimacy
First of all, just so we are on the same page let’s, for the sake of our purposes here, define intimacy as “connection”. Within this paradigm, we can easily imagine at least three dimensions of intimacy: emotional, physical and spiritual. Emotional connection / intimacy is about allowing oneself to be fully heart open, vulnerable and caring towards one’s partner. Physical intimacy is connection of giving and receiving through touch of any kind, whether or not it is sexual in nature. And spiritual intimacy is connection through the exchange of energy (some may say “life force” or sexual energy) between partners. It is this last one that we are going to delve into more deeply here.
From Woo Woo to Wow! Wow!
About 18 months ago my female partner and I had the opportunity of having Reiki done on both of us at the same time. Reiki is a Japanese Buddhist practice of aligning the seven Chakras of the body so the life force / energy of the person being worked on flows more freely and unimpeded. One of the more interesting aspects of this is when a skilled Reiki practitioner can accomplish this without even touching their subject.
As “woo, woo” as this sounds (and yes, I’m from the West Coast) it works powerfully. I remember my first three Reiki sessions that were done over a six-week period. The first time I essentially felt no different after the session other than perhaps very relaxed. The second time I inexplicably felt wiped out and had to sit in a chair for a while afterward just to recover my senses before the long drive home. The third time I literally felt a strong vibration going up and down my spine. After telling a friend who knew more about these things than I did about my last experience she said I had a partial Kundalini release. Kundalini is believed to be the feminine energy that everyone has and typically lies dormant at the base of the spine. Once released or awakened it can have a profound and even overwhelming impact on the person in which it was released (usually through Reiki work). According to my friend, if I had experienced a full Kundalini I would have ended up in the hospital delirious.
Whether any of this is true or not, I know what I felt, and it was unlike anything in my previous realm of experience. So I had some familiarity with Reiki before we had our mutual session with the same healer. This healer knew I had severe erectile dysfunction and suggested that my partner and I explore another way of being intimate that involved just synchronized breathing, no overt touching. Given that my options for expressing physical intimacy were somewhat limited, we were up for at least trying it out.
Imagine a Growing Ball of Energy
What this healer shared with us was straightforward and simple. First, we sit with our backs straight facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes. If you can sit with each of your legs intertwined to enable your faces to be closer together, all the better, but it is not necessary.
She began by having us imagine a small ball of glowing energy in the center of the space between our faces. Then I (as the male) breathe this in as my partner breathes out, essentially sucking in her breath (again, imagined as that ball of energy). Then we both visualize that ball traveling down my vertebrae and out the base of my spine as I exhale. At the same time, my partner inhales and we visualize that energy ball enter her through the base of her spine. We continue to visualize that ball traveling up her vertebrae and out her mouth as she exhales once again completing one cycle.
The key here is to remain very present and empty our minds of all thoughts as we both continue the breathing cycles. With a little practice and patience you will both feel as if that ball of energy is getting bigger, stronger and glowing brighter. The short video clip below demonstrates how this happens.
One or both of you may also start to feel profound physical sensations as a result of this energy buildup between the two of you. If you feel these sensations, it means you are exchanging and harmonizing your respective sexual energy. The last time my partner and I did this I felt it over my entire body and literally started shaking. It was the most incredible sensation – unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Some people with whom we share our experience will smile and say: “Oh, you two are practicing Tantra sex.” Tantra sex is the ancient art of enhancing and exchanging sexual energy between two people. Its methodologies tend to be complicated and involved unlike the method I just described which is about as easy and straightforward as it gets.
About a year after we met, my partner and I attended a tantra workshop given by a couple well-known in the Tantra world. What we discovered (to our dismay) was that we were already achieving the intended results of the course but with much greater simplicity using less effort. And, when we tried the practices being taught it put us so much in our head it made it difficult to achieve the effect.
Regardless of what you want to call it, this is a very achievable way for you and your partner to exchange something profound and experience a level of intimacy you may never have thought possible. And the cool thing is, this is just the beginning of what is possible as we will explore yet another very powerful way to exchange energy between you and your partner in my next post.
Until then, remember to breathe –ideally together.