I experienced a significant setback recently when I sat for an exam and ended up failing it. My first thought felt terrible, and I hurt in my tummy. My second thought was I tried my best, and that is all anyone can expect.
I am grateful for my ability to reset my mindset and discard the trash thoughts that were starting to overwhelm me. I sat for a moment in silence and accepted the fact that I had not passed the exam.
It occurred to me that I could celebrate my work to prepare for the exam rather than the original plan to celebrate passing the exam. It felt right, and my thoughts began to support my excitement about celebrating after all.
The things that get in my way of living free from depression and anxiety are the trash thoughts that rush into my head without my consent. The trash thoughts come into my head to scare me into believing the lies about my life.
I have three reoccurring trash thoughts that act as if they belong in my head despite my best efforts to evict them once and for all.
The first one came rushing into my mind when I realized that I was gay at a very young age. The thought I had was I am unlovable. It hurt just a lot every time I felt it or when someone reinforced it unknowingly.
The second trash thought started at a young age as well. I thought over and over again that I don’t belong here. The here was incidental to the trash thought. It didn’t matter where I was when I felt like I didn’t belong.
The third trash thought that has since taken up a significant amount of time rolling around in my mind is I am not good enough. It is a hard one to wrestle with when there seems to be ample proof to the contrary.
The trash thoughts have one thing in common; they are not supporting me in living a positive and balanced life. With that in mind, I have developed some strategies that serve me well to ward off the full effects of trash thoughts.
These affirmations offer a way to combat trash thoughts.
I am lovable and loving.
I am accepted and welcomed.
I am experienced and knowledgeable.
So for me, when the trash thoughts bombard me, I stop and take a breath that lets me reset and focus on one of the affirmations. I am a work in progress and remain grateful for the presence of mind that allows me to shift from suffering to celebrating.
The celebration of my efforts for the exam felt right and gave me the energy and excitement to get back up and retake the exam in the next cycle.
Trash thoughts belong in the trash bin, not in my mind.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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