The teen years are challenging for parents
Let’s face it, having a teen isn’t easy. Teenagers are growing and changing every moment. They’re moody, hormonal, and not easy to read. They want to be close to you one minute, and the next moment they’re out the door on the way to their boyfriend or girlfriend’s house or to see a movie with a group of friends. When your teen is rebellious, you might fight with them. You’ll have difficulty seeing eye to eye because you want to help them make safe choices and they want to have fun. Sometimes parents and teens can work these conflicts out on their own, and times they need the help of a mental health professional to intervene. In parent counseling, parents and their children confront their issues and work through them with the help of a licensed mental health professional.
Some rebellion is normal
When you’re the parent of a teen, and you can seem to control their crazy behavior, you might feel helpless, and that’s a natural feeling. You may be tempted to blame yourself or your parenting style for your teen’s rebellious actions. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re doing the best that you can, and if your teen isn’t listening, it’s not because they don’t love you or you’re a “bad parent.” It’s more likely that they’re going through the normal state of adolescent development where they’re rebelling against those who are closest to them: their parents. Unfortunately, this doesn’t feel great when you’re a parent, but consider it a compliment. When a teen is giving you a hard time, they feel comfortable with you. They’re pushing your boundaries because they know that you’re a safe person to test. You love them, and even if you get angry at them, you’re not going to abandon them when they need love.
Parent counseling helps teens and parents communicate
However, there’s a difference between pushing boundaries and out of control behavior such as engaging in substance abuse or violence. When your teen is a danger to himself or others, it’s time to seek counseling. Parent counseling is a place where a therapist guides the parent and their teen toward resolutions to severe problems. A parent counselor hears the concerns of the parent (or parents) and the perspective of the teen and mediates between the two. In the end, the relationship between the parent and teen improves and they’re able to work tough problems through and find a way to compromise. Maybe a teenage girl feels like their mother doesn’t understand her need for emotional space. In parent counseling, she can communicate this need clearly, and her mother responds. They might not see eye to eye at first. Maybe the mother feels rejected, and the teen feels as if her mom is guilt-tripping her. The parent counselor serves to mediate the conflict so the girl and her mother can see one another’s point of view. After mediation by the parent counselor, both mother and daughter feel understood and validated.
There’s hope for you and your rebellious teen
If you’re reading this and you have a teenage son or daughter who you feel is out of control, there’s hope. Consider taking them to parent counseling to talk out your issues with a seasoned mental health professional. There’s no shame in admitting you need help talking to your teen. Whether you find a counselor online or in your local neighborhood, there are a variety of therapists who work with parents and teens. They’re ready to help you learn the best ways to communicate with your child.
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