Parenthood: 'Sounds Like It Sucks, TBH'

I had lunch with another grown up this past week, something that I was repeatedly reminded that I need to do more often. They weren’t wrong but it is probably worth noting that it’s an easier thing to arrange for an empty nester or somebody without children. Also, I just don’t often feel like it.

I think that I did an admirable job making conversation but it doesn’t take long before detours into sports and pop culture eventually lead me back to talking about my kid. This is somebody that I talk to regularly so it wasn’t a surprise to her, this is what you get when you spend time with me. It was a little surprising however, to hear the conclusion that she came to regarding parenthood: “Sounds like it kinda sucks, to be honest.”

Again, she wasn’t really wrong. There is a lot about having kids that does kind of suck and I think most of us would have no problem admitting that. They are massively expensive, extremely needy creatures that require a ridiculous amount of time and energy to raise.

There are also all of the things that you don’t know about ahead of time. The near constant worry and unsubstantiated guilt that is always bubbling under the surface. The mental toll it takes to not listen to the little voice in your head telling you that you are doing it all wrong. The acceleration to the time-space continuum that seems to happen and the accompanying melancholy whenever that becomes apparent.

It sucks and it’s scary and it’s horribly stressful but it’s also the best thing that ever happened to me, for a lot of reasons that are kind of hard to explain. There’s a sense of purpose, of meaning that I don’t know that I ever would have found otherwise. A feeling that maybe my short time on this rock matters after all.

Listen, I’m not saying that if you aren’t a parent your life is meaningless or any kind of bullshit like that. Settle down, Internet. I’m not saying that my life would be meaningless otherwise or that I haven’t made any kind of impact in the lives of anybody else that I’ve come across in my life.

What I’m saying is that this is my life, and to be honest the thing that sucks the most about it is that I know that the day is going to come before I’m ready when I’m going to have to find something else. I’ll always be dad but I’ve already seen what happens when they aren’t massively expensive, extremely needy creatures that require a ridiculous amount of time and energy.

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I guess catch up to me then. I’ll buy.