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When you experience an injury or illness, all of your energy is focused on healing and feeling better. As a parent, however, you also have to think about your children. Learning how to continue parenting in the midst of pain is a challenge you must deal with in a strategic manner.
5 Ways to Parent Through Pain
“I closed the door on my wailing toddler and left her standing in her crib, reaching out for me. Her cries intensified, like the siren of an ambulance getting closer and louder until its howl drowns out everything else. I walked away and broke down crying,” parent and health journalist Rachel Rabkin Peachman recalls. “My daughter was sick, and I desperately wanted to soothe her but I just couldn’t stand and rock her for one more minute to help her get to sleep. My broken body had reached its limit.”
If you’ve ever experienced chronic pain or a debilitating injury that takes weeks or months to heal, then you know just how difficult it can be to parent with pain. While there will always be concerns, here are some pointers to get you moving in the right direction.
1. Care for Your Health Needs
For starters, you have to take care of your health. Do whatever it takes to get the proper treatment from qualified medical professionals. Trying to self-diagnose or self-treat isn’t an option. If anything, it’ll likely make your problem worse.
It’s also smart to get some psychological support to help you cope with the challenges you’re facing.
“Seeking psychological support does not mean you’re crazy. It means you’re a normal person facing extremely unusual and challenging circumstances,” health journalist Zawn Villines writes. “Parenting is difficult for everyone; add in a disability and you are facing a massive obstacle. A skilled therapist can help you sort through your feelings, offer you a shoulder to cry on, and offer practical assistance for managing your daily challenges.”
2. Find Help
There will be times where you need help with your children. Having a plan in place for family and friends to pick up the slack for these stints will ensure they’re cared for so you’re able to focus on healing.
3. Find Financial Support
Nobody wants to believe that money plays a role in improving health conditions and finding healing, but it does. It unlocks the opportunity for advanced medical procedures, proper healthcare, and treatment options that relieve pain.
If you’re unable to provide the sort of financial support you and your children need to survive this rough patch, you have to do something about it. If your condition is the result of a car accident or similar issue, pursue all legal options. It’s best to consult with a lawyer on the specifics, however, as there are some complexities associated with lawsuit settlements.
As the Colley Firm, PC explains, “Your medical costs are not the only expense you need to expect. You’ll also have to deal with missing work and the harder-to-define emotional trauma involved.”
An attorney will be able to calculate all of these “extra” costs—including wage loss, disability accommodations, pain and suffering, and loss of consortium. Otherwise, you may come up with a figure that’s far less than you’re truly owed.
4. Encourage Children
In addition to caring for the physical needs of your children and making sure they have food, clean clothes, and transportation, you also need to provide emotional support.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of your children and think about how they must feel. They’re likely scared, confused, and frustrated. They wonder why their life has to be different. While they won’t always understand, taking the time to explain what’s happening will give them a significant source of encouragement.
5. Refuse to Give Up
“I’m still the one my girls reach for—and I refuse to let the pain take that away from me.” Peachman, who suffers from scoliosis, says. “Motherhood may have weakened my body but my love for my daughters has strengthened my spirit.”
As the old saying puts it, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Refusing to give up and focusing your thoughts on the positives in your life will allow you to plow forward in the midst of painful trials.
Putting Your Children First
There will always be some friction between managing personal health issues and caring for your children. At the end of the day, you have an obligation to care for yourself and your children—a dual responsibility that can’t be taken lightly. By developing a plan and making a concentrated effort to make smart, healthy choices, you can ensure your family is cared for.
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This content is sponsored by Larry Alton.
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