Let’s assume, at an extremely important entrance exam, your child did whatever he/she could to prepare well, but didn’t manage to get admission.
What should be your reaction?
Should you be sad?
Answer is a big NO…
My question is … why were you even waiting for his/her results? Let your child do that.
Your job ends by extending whatever help your child needs at the time of preparation.
Because you expect “best efforts” from them
NOT “best results”
To put in best efforts is IN their hands, getting best results isn’t.
So, how should you react by hearing the news of your child not able to make it?
Stay happy and unchanged and by doing that you’re making your child realize that these failures are very much part of his life and he’ll get it in future as well. There’s nothing wrong with them
Believe me, it’s when they see you sad (even when you pretend you aren’t), they feel defeated and discouraged.
It becomes even more difficult for them take challenges and risks because they keep thinking about results; as they know you’ll be waiting back home to hear the good news.
It’s not your words, its your actions what teaches them.
Teach them RIGHT things by making changes in your ACTIONS
Teach them to celebrate those failures, learn from them and get started one more time
You can’t teach them this stuff through “words”
You can teach them this through “ACTIONS”
You can teach them this by staying happy and remaining unchanged when they tell you the story of their failure
This way you’re telling through your “ACTIONS” THAT YOU DON’T EXPECT BEST RESULTS FROM THEM BUT ONLY EXPECT THEIR BEST EFFORTS.
Below are few articles that proves my above argument:
Rising parental expectations linked to perfectionism in college students
Rising parental expectations and criticism are linked to an increase in perfectionism among college students, which can…
www.apa.org
Are Your Expectations Helping or Harming Your Child? – Metro Parent
Research shows that overly high parental expectations are linked to perfectionism – and it can be damaging to mental…
www.metroparent.com
Lets Rock Parenting!
Be a friend, not a parent..
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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