Personal Development and Spirituality: When We Accidentally Bypass Our Human Nature

“If it triggers you, it means something within you needs to be worked on.”

“Your happiness depends only on you.”

“Complete detachment is the key to all.”

We often hear quotes like these in personal development and spirituality. It assumes that enlightenment means not being bothered by anything external and only depending on oneself.

The accumulation of lessons, when turned into wisdom, can lead to less reactivity and more acceptance and self-sufficiency. However, the quick dismissal of the value of going through our negative emotions can block us from a deeper understanding of our inner selves.

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When we hurt ourselves physically, we don’t quickly dismiss the wound and detach from the situation. While the endurance of pain can be learned eventually, it’s still important to acknowledge that physical damage has been inflicted and that it’s important not only to heal it with time and care but also to take the necessary measures to avoid future risks or accidents.

Similarly, we feel emotional pain for a reason.

It’s important to learn how to manage the waves of negative emotions. However, it’s also important to understand where they come from and what they’re actually telling us.

As humans, we are inherently wired biologically and chemically to survive together. We are wired to care about being able to live harmoniously with people around us and seek connection with them.

If we blindly apply the rules of seeking to detach ourselves from situations and people, we will never learn to understand where our emotional needs come from, nor how to take care of connections in a healthy way.

Also, negative emotions can signal important things we are perceiving from situations we are reacting to. For example, anger could mean that we are perceiving a potential threat to our safety, fairness or respect. It gives us the drive to fix the situation and acknowledge what is not right for us.

If we can learn how to manage the waves of these emotions healthily, we can learn how to have better interactions where we honor each other’s boundaries.

A deeper introspection can help us understand the intrisicalities of our inherent human nature and needs.

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Being spiritual does not necessarily mean we are simply not bothered by anything or anyone at all.

It can mean that we allow ourselves to go through this human experience, and learn and understand our human nature in this physical plane.

Then as we understand and learn, healthy attachment and detachment will naturally occur.

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Mónica Valverde is a daydreamer navigating the experience of human life. She’s in love with Spirituality, Inner Work and Relationships.

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