In a romantic relationship, we’re bound to have disagreements, but when your partner has Peter Pan Syndrome, those arguments can get heated fast. A person with the condition doesn’t want to grow up, and they believe they only have to pursue what they love rather than what helps them earn a living. Here’s an example of two partners arguing about the challenges of not wanting to grow up and how they’re impacting their relationship.
Partner 1: I don’t want to get a job because I feel like any job that I take should be something I’m passionate about, so, it doesn’t need to be something to pay the bills. Why should I get a job?
Partner 2: Because without a job, you can’t pay bills and live. So, you can’t live your passions.
Partner 1: But, I’m going to die doing something that I don’t like. I don’t want to be a cashier at a boring grocery store.
Partner 2: Then get a different job.
Partner 1: The only job that I want is something that I love! Why should I do something that I can’t stand to pay the bills? That’s just boring and “adult!”
Partner 2: Do you want to live on the streets?
Partner 1: I don’t want to live on the streets. I want to have fun!
Partner 2: I’m not going to support you financially.
Partner 1: Why wouldn’t you support me? I thought that we were in this together! I thought –
Partner 2: That’d mean that we’re doing things together. Not that I’m doing everything and that I have to support you entirely financially.
Partner 1: But, I want to have fun. Isn’t life about having fun? I don’t want to be bored sitting in an office doing a job that I hate.
Partner 2: So, find a job that you like, but still; find a job.
Partner 1: I refuse to apply to jobs that aren’t something that I’m super passionate about because the whole point of living is to live your passion and your dream, so, I’m just going to die if I’m in corporate America. That sounds awful.
Partner 2: You need to grow up!
Peter Pan Syndrome affects romantic relationships
The argument above is an example of one member of a couple living with Peter Pan Syndrome. Partner 1 has Peter Pan Syndrome, and Partner 2 is attempting to live their life as a grown up. Partner 2 doesn’t want to put up with Partner 1’s flights of fancy and tries to get them to see that they can’t act childlike. Unfortunately, Partner 1 has unrealistic expectations about what it means to be an adult, which is one of the hallmarks of Peter Pan syndrome.
I don’t want to grow up!
A person with Peter Pan Syndrome is a person who’s in denial of the realities of living adult life and don’t understand that being an adult comes with responsibilities that aren’t always enjoyable, such as paying bills, rent, and things like that. It can be frustrating to be in a relationship with someone who has Peter Pan Syndrome because they haven’t adapted to their responsibilities as an adult.
Someone with Peter Pan Syndrome is child-like, and that can frustrate their partner. The person hasn’t evolved past childhood and still expects their responsibilities to be minimal, like those of a child. In the conversation above, we see that a person with Peter Pan Syndrome has unrealistic expectations about the working world. They don’t see the point in taking a job they don’t want; if it’s how they’re going to put food on the table. The idea of going on job interviews, networking seems pointless to someone with Peter Pan Syndrome, because they feel a sense of entitlement. They believe the world owed them something. Some people with Peter Pan Syndrome won’t apply for jobs at all; if it’s not what they want to do, they don’t see the point. They may be immature in some ways, childlike or still stuck in their teenage “partying” years, which can make it especially hard to maintain a healthy adult relationship with them.
Couples Counseling Can Help
There is hope for a relationship in which one partner has Peter Pan syndrome. You can go to couples counseling and work out your issues. You don’t have to accept the defiance of your partner. You can work on these issues with an online couples counselor. Online counseling is an excellent option for couples to work out their problems in the privacy of a safe space where they feel comfortable discussing intimate subjects.
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