Some cliches really grate on me, but hey: It is what it is.
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I am a writer. This means that A) I’d be better paid serving you Happy Meals; and B) I listen closely to what people say. Listening is how I find material, sharpen my ear for dialogue, and justify being a nosy bastard.
That’s all fun and games, I suppose, but the downside of really paying attention to what people say is hearing the same things over and over. And over. (And over.) So here in no particular order are seven phrases I’d love to see retired:
Live each day like it’s your last. I tried this for about a month, I really did. I went at it with gusto, sobbing uncontrollably, saying goodbye to my loved ones, bargaining with a higher being, giving away my crap. The whole thing was a real downer.
It’s a dry heat. You know what else is a dry heat? My oven. This is one of the many reasons that I don’t spend a lot of time in my oven.
You’re only as old as you feel. No, I’m pretty sure I’m 47. Earlier today I felt 25, but I checked my driver’s license and my birth date hadn’t changed. Time doesn’t appear to give a damn how I feel.
Sixty is the new 30. See previous.
How about that sports team! I can’t believe we won! We didn’t, they did. They are professional athletes who are paid to compete. Our contribution is propping jars of French onion dip on our bellies and yelling at the television while they do so. That’s why they have matching uniforms and we’re sitting around in our underpants claiming victory.
It’s my right to [do/have/eat/kill/wear/believe] blank. Yes, it is your right, and I support that. But you know what? It’s equally my right not to do those things, so how about you go do your thing and stop demanding that we all do your thing, too? Thanks.
Are you done yet? I mean, I personally have never heard that. As far as you know.
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This post is republshed on Medium.
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There is a certain “Je ne sais quoi” about this post…
‘I’m just saying…’ is particularly loathsome. It’s in the same vein as ‘no offense, but…’ and gives the speaker a misplaced sense of justification in saying horrible things.
How about “Maybe, maybe not”. Isn’t the “maybe not” implied in the very definition of MAYBE!!??
We need to eliminate the phrase “Be A Man.”
“Not trying to be a bitch, but…” You can guarantee that whatever comes next you’ll be thinking, “wow, what a bitch.”
“no offense, but……….”— I despise that because there’s ALWAYS something Offensive being said towards Somebody (you can’t decide what is/isn’t offensive)
Thank you for all you do.
On the other hand, since I moved from California to North Carolina I’ve concluded that a dry heat really is preferable.
‘I’m the type of person who… ‘
Really? If you were that type of person shouldn’t I be able to figure that out without you telling me?
Nice little whinge James, thanks for sharing.
“At the end of the day”…….brings on murderous thoughts.
Great article, btw.
Well, “It is what it is” GRRRRR!
My General Manager says it alllll the time. However true it is, it is still annoying.
Amen. That one makes me lose my mind!