Podcast Bros Say the Darnest Things: ‘Women Losing Weight After Divorce Is Mental Illness’

If I had a dollar every time I heard a man act perplexed that women do and often glow up post-divorce, I would be a millionaire by now.

I don’t know if this is willful ignorance or not truly understanding the nature of cause and effect in relationships, but either way, hearing men describe a woman who loses weight after a breakup as mentally ill is just sad:

While not every man out there would put it so bluntly, much like these two podcast bros in the video above (that is, men who create casual testosterone-fueled podcasts reminiscent of what you would find in the locker room), they still reflect a contentious issue that’s all too common among men.

Yet few seem to understand why women shed the pounds once the relationship is over.

Personally, I have never experienced an ex go through such a physical metamorphosis. I have, however, two female friends who divorced and completely changed afterward — one had a major glow-up, acquiring a new look, social circle, and even hobbies like traveling for pleasure — while the other went through rapid weight loss, almost reverting to the body she had before getting hitched.

When I asked what changed, they gave me two reasons, which I believe represent the majority of women in similar circumstances. These were:

• They wanted to find themselves again, after losing so much of their identity to being a wife and mother.
• They wanted to lose the weight all along, but couldn’t because they were over-encumbered by the relationship itself.

It was not because they were crazy, lazy, or trying to “fix” their husband. They lost weight to feel better about themselves. It’s not that complicated.

We all cope in different ways after divorce

People often forget how traumatizing divorce can be, and that we cope with this major life event in different ways.

For men, the usual responses are drinking, casual sex, or overworking. For women, it is a glow-up, social re-engagement, and emotional processing. This is one reason why, statistically, women tend to fare better than men after divorce. Men, on average, look outward, while women look inward.

The same people complaining are often the culprits

Unsurprisingly, the common denominator in my friend’s divorce story was the man.

Both had overbearing, traditionalist-type husbands who controlled their every waking moment while simultaneously demanding they cater to their whims. Add to that the responsibility of caring for the kids while juggling a full-time job. Well, how can anyone keep a trim figure under such stressful conditions?

Working out and eating healthy is a full-time job in its own right. The amount of effort it takes to plan, prep, and execute said goals is no joke. Anyone who has had to build and maintain an aesthetically pleasing body from scratch knows this. Your diet, sleep, even your mental health must be on point.

And then you demand that your wife stay pretty without doing your share of the physical and emotional labor? That, to me, is the true definition of being mentally ill, not the other way around.

And I think this is why some men are quick to insult women who change for the better post-divorce. It is a way to shift the spotlight onto the women instead of where it should be, on themselves. God forbid they actually have to confront their shortcomings.