Theresa Byrne can’t take it anymore—‘Pseudo Spirituality’ has to stop.
That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t even pretend.
This concept of (Pseudo) Spirituality: supposedly “spiritual” people who are quoting memes and one-liners that have no idea what they really mean. What it means to “Trust the Universe.” Or how freaking hard it is to actually get down and dirty with your own growth; how to deal with your own issues. Walking around spouting words and concepts that sound cool. “Love is all there is.” (Insert heart-smiley face icon here).
Saying things like: “Namaste” or “Love and Light”—then going about treating others cruelly. Or judging another’s choices. Putting someone down. I looked up “namaste,” there’s nothing about judgement in there.
Or those that find themselves simply sharing the words of others, because sharing is caring? Quoting this spiritual guru, or that one, or even the paraphrased gibberish from someone else’s guru. Cutting and pasting the cute memes or pictures thinking it makes a difference.
I mean no disrespect to anyone actually in the trenches, honestly dealing with themselves, it ain’t easy. Doing your work, learning about yourself on a level that not many tread. Those “dark nights of the soul” are tough. Anyone who has been in them, who has dealt with themselves on that level knows the difference. It’s the posers I can’t take anymore. Posturing. Posing. Pretending. By doing “what spiritual people do” as if there was a manual and you can follow it to be part of the In Crowd. These same people that are miserable, numb or hurting people intentionally.
You can attend seminars. Go to self-help workshops. Read books. You can quote Gandhi all you want, but until you know that being the “change” means every friggen day.
You choose it.
You choose to be that change.
You aren’t purposefully hurtful, ever. And if you hurt someone, you apologize. And every day you choose peace, even when someone makes you mad. You choose love, even when it’s the hardest thing to do. You choose to be kind when someone else cuts you off, or they explode in anger at something you said or did. You don’t make it about you, you let them be. You choose because you know it’s a choice. And you walk that path. All the time.
Ok, most of the time.
You may even choose to cut people out of your life as an act of self-kindness so that you can stay sane. You draw boundaries that keep you safe; let you keep the good in, and keep the negative draining stuff out. And when that means choosing to be alone most of the time, instead of with people: that can be tough.
It’s not for the faint at heart. And you don’t get a tee shirt that says, “Been There Done That.”
It’s difficult, it takes work to open up. It’s not for the faint at heart. And you don’t get a tee shirt that says, “Been There Done That.”—but along the path you will recognize others that have done their work.
You do not awaken because you bought a poster or shirt that says, ‘Thoughts Create Things’—and yes, I own that one too. You don’t wake up because you can quote the new age philosophers. Because you get a tattoo of Asian symbols or poetic words. You don’t wake up because you post positive memes on Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, Instagram, Whatsapp, or any other form of social media.
You wake up because you are out of options. You have done everything you knew how to do and, here’s the kicker: it wasn’t enough. You weren’t enough. You couldn’t fix it. You couldn’t make it right. You had no ideas left on how to make things better. You are tired of the same patterns over and over. You want more. And you have a chance to look yourself in the eye, and see who you really are.
To wake up means to find yourself one day at the bottom of the barrel. You met your own shadow. You found you. The real you.
Maybe you’re emotionally, spiritually, physically or financially bankrupt. Maybe you can’t get out of bed because the demons and negative thoughts in your head are overriding any happy thoughts.
Maybe you find yourself in relationships that are draining you; you have a job you hate; you’re selling yourself short to hang with a certain group of friends.
You don’t speak up because you’re afraid of being kicked out. Maybe you’re sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
In that moment it’s just you. You are the only one: you are naked, alone, screwed up, miserable, empty and you finally stop blaming anyone or anything else. No one is going to show up to rescue you. You are it. No book or guru is going to give the answers that you seek, all you have is you. Alone. The only one—the one you’ve been waiting for, and it ain’t pretty.
And in that moment you give up. You stop fighting yourself. And you wake the hell up!
You take stock of your life and you start living from that authentic place because you just can’t fake it anymore. You don’t want to live up to anyone else’s expectations of who you should be, or how you should be. What you should say, and what you should do.
You realize you are enough, that you do have a lot to offer the world.
Then you start to become who you came here to be. You’re finally free to find your own power.
It sounds like you’re on a very dark spiritual path..
The way you imply that an awakening can only arise from being in a dark place is very naive. You clearly don’t even have the slightest clue what the actual awakening process is like.
You have a vampire latched onto your neck. It has sucked so much of your energy and thrown such a spell of confusion over you that you imagine that it is what is keeping you alive. A very excited man is coming at you with a hammer and a stake. How threatened you feel! How angry and judgmental he is! It pisses you off. He doesn’t seem spiritual at all.
So Theresa, did you ever read these comments, and did you ever reflect on them?
I think Buddha said it best; I am awake. But some of my friends and relatives may not know that. That’s because I don’t try to shove things down peoples throats. Thousands of years ago I became a follower of the Lady. Now I know why I’m here and what I need to do. But, unlike Hindus and Buddhists I have no interest in getting out of the circle of life. I look forward to several of them because of memories of future lives. In my treatment of others you have to earn my disrespect. Unfortunately some have. But I… Read more »
It’s interesting that this article came along when it did. The men’s group I belong to is in the process of developing for next year’s retreat. All 18 of us have given a talk about our life and the journey we’ve been on. After hearing everyone, there was no judgment of anyone and it was pretty amazing to hear where we are all in different places in our spirituality. Personally, I’ve had an amazing journey which I know isn’t over yet. But in comparison to my brothers in the group, in some ways I’ve come a long way. After each… Read more »
Men’s group? Those still exist?
Great reply! You, I’d like to know!
Shawn Allen: “Men’s group? Those still exist?”
Shawn, absolutely. I facilitate one here in Boulder, CO:
and there are a lot more in our area. Check http://www.MeetUp.com to find one where you are.
Thanks Shawn, The CRHP group I’m not in, is a group that was formed 20 years ago. For years now I’ve heard of it because there would be various announcements through the years but I ignored them. Our group, which is CRHP 21 will be sponsoring/facilitating CRHP 22.
@Ziggy, I’ve tried to find groups in the past (Western Suburbs of Chicago),other then “support” groups for various issues, there is nothing around. I wish there was.
Correction, that should have said “I’m now in” …sorry about that. It’s early.
Well, if you don’t like what others are doing or saying then stop paying attention to it!
We’ll being of myself and those around me is the only sane morality one needs to be good, in the most beautiful and sense of the word.
Spirituality and religions are simple acknowledgements that we are cognitively imperfect and need gimmicks for motivation
It seems kind of hypocritical to say that people who are judgmental aren’t really spiritual while you are busy judging people you don’t believe to be spiritual enough…. Everyone is walking their own path and on their own journey. If you really KNOW someone enough to know what their journey is like, why not talk directly to them about your perception of them as inauthentic spiritual beings? And if you don’t know someone well enough to know their journey, to understand what life has brought them to this point and how they are feeling when they do the things you… Read more »
I like this article alot.
Great truethful Article. No one else is going to help you, there is only you. You may Hopefully have friends who will be there for you. But it is your Journey , you are the only one that can find new choices, will power and strength. To find and enjoy the new you..
I can relate. I’m sick of the New Age bullcrap.
Who is the you, you keep referring to is it me or you?
Being concerned about what other people do is like herding cats. You have to be one with yourself before you can be one with the universe. I wish you well on your journey.
Only a few comments. Only one positive. For the rest of you, you DO realize that you are doing precisely what you complain about? Each of you condemns Theresa for judging others, and then go on to judge her. Comments like “I see a lot of anger…,” “who are you to judge?,” “When you can be at peace…” “Only you are more condescending and elitist about it,” and “When you realize that, you’ll be free” are all judgments. You are revealing your own insecurities and issues, as most of you point out. And, since I’ll probably get blowback if any… Read more »
In my post I never claimed to be spiritual or nonjudgmental; indeed I was taking more of a realistic, observational approach to an article that set off many alarms and triggers for me.
To be fair, you are correct, you did not make those claims. I apologize.
Yes yes yes. This higher vibrational bs is decisive. Hooray for the 4th degree black belt. Id venture to say she speaks with some authority and balls. Good for u lady
This is the first article I’ve read that is truly human. thank you so so so much..
Others are merely a mirror of ourselves. What we see in that mirror, reflects the unconscious shadow (light or dark), the disowned or unbirthed aspects of ourselves. What you see in your mirror, can teach you much about your own, deepest fears. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got. When you realize that, you’ll be free. So much love.
“Others are merely a mirror of ourselves.” This is bullshit. Dangerous, new age, self-loathing bullshit. If it were true, then my physically abusive and sadistic step-father was a “reflection” of a pretty innocent child, and I can guarantee you he was not. That is like saying I beat myself black and blue with a belt from the shoulder blades to the knees on several occasions. Now, that said, I can accept the idea that maybe I was supposed to teach him a lesson, or I chose that family to learn a lesson myself. But a mirror of who I was,… Read more »
Kudos to this
Stellar, let us not lie to each other. Not everyone is doing their best. People don’t rape, kill, lie, cheat, manipulate and deceive while they’re busy doing their best. If you think so, then you think very little of human beings and their potential. There once lived a Man who thought very highly of human beings. After calling on us to be meek, humble, kind and generous he said: Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect. Perfect! That’s what he believed each of us were capable of. I believe that too. And that… Read more »
So what makes you think your way is the only way? That your answer is the only answer? Your article is full of criticism and judgment. Good for you for thinking you have all the answers or understand how to find yourself and experience spirituality. Reality check: everyone is different, and your way doesn’t work for everyone. And they have just as much a right to post spiritual quotes as you do… Only you are more condescending and elitist about it.
I have to agree, Aleta. Perhaps someone who’s just started saying “namaste” to others is beginning a journey that will lead to eventually becoming “who they are meant to be.” Of course there are posers, but it’s not our job to judge them or be angry at them. Condescension isn’t helpful.
The fixation on who is doing what and how they are doing it and why they should do it differently is a fascinating insight into the perceptions of the person making the observation. I believe everyone would agree that nothing is sweeter than the taste of authenticity but for many, getting to the brink of that vulnerable edge and then finally jumping into the raw discovery of what we are made of is as personalized as the names given us at birth. When you can be at peace with the so called ‘posers’ and realize that even they may be… Read more »
Your response made me so happy, because that is EXACTLY what my wise mother has been trying to teach my impatient, quick-to-judge self since I was 14! 🙂 (I am still learning)
That was brilliant, David. Another analogy that I heard is that there are several different ways to get from one place to another…for instance, I might take the Parkway to get to work and you might take Route 23….the point is that, while we may take different paths, we are all trying to get to the same place.
Thank you for your words x you are so right – we are all offering something somewhere somehow. Its a slow burning.
Is it just me, or is this article full of contradictions? I see a lot of angst over how others live their lives, whether it is authentic enough or not for you. Who are you to judge? Everyone has their own stuff, how do you know what is right for them, what is authentic for them? Even if they are just mindlessly putting out positivity…isn’t it still positivity? Would you rather they spread negative vibes? You finish by saying, “You don’t want to live up to anyone else’s expectations of who you should be, or how you should be. What… Read more »
I agree with you @Judgmental Much? My first feeling while reading this was – is this really relevant for this website? Secondly, berating and criticising people for sharing positive messages (while spitting venom all over an article) with the assumption that it’s the full extent of their spiritual practice is absurd. I was interested to see in the authors blurb that they refer to their superpowers and that they will help you find yours – this article and its rantings sound so ego driven, missing the point of all spiritual traditions which, by and large, look to transcend that. If… Read more »
I’m with you, JM. I felt a lot of anger coming out of this post. Your ‘isn’t it still positive?’ question made me think of the people who criticize Oprah for ‘pretending’ to be spiritual or who question her motives for her philanthropic gestures—you can’t question the massive amount of goodness that she’s brought to so many lives, no matter what her motives are. And there is a ripple effect to that goodness. Just as there is to judgment and condescension.
My thoughts exactly…
(all caps are appropriate!)