We have a word that we misunderstand, misuse, and try to cure by using discipline. We say that procrastination is a form of laziness. But no one is born lazy. The reason we delay doing a task or going somewhere is because there is psychological block.
I tend to delay making phone calls because I sometimes manifest a speech defect. Not always, by any means, but enough to cause me to sometimes delay the phone call. You might think that my block is a physical reason, but look deeper. I need to make the call so risking my stammer is inevitable. The psychological block is my fear of impatience in the agency I am calling. My dread of feeling the very transient defect that is rare. Because I never know when it will occur, I tend to delay calls. Notice that I say tend. I make many calls. It is no longer such a deep block.
Students who delay turning in papers have fears of failure or success. Yes, fear of success is very real as it means decisions must be made about the future. That student may want to stay with a sick parent and not contemplate college. It is easier to fail and get a job at a diner, or pharmacy.
Teenagers who delay doing chores around the house often feel a resentment toward a parent. They may be completely unaware of it. It takes a lot of unravelling while each delay increases the tension in the relationship.
Not wanting to exercise may be due to a past incident experienced or seen. The reluctance to be in that situation again is an underlying but unacknowledged reason to avoid exercise.
We term all these reasons procrastination and look for cures such as setting an alarm, limiting screen time, or offering a reward. None of these will succeed in the long term, as the psychological block is still there and will remain in hiding until, in one way or another, it is dealt with.
Sometimes a conversation will bring enlightenment to the procrastinator, or reading an article or book. A caring adult may perceive something in a teenager and talk with them to find a resolution.
So, we see that procrastination is not laziness. Laziness perceived is often depression in hiding. We are complex beings once we begin to start becoming separate to our caregivers. This happens at varying ages, but mainly between seven and nine years old. Our caregivers are no longer our whole world as other influences affect us. However, a trauma at an very young age may cause many psychological problems including procrastination.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Moritz Mentges on Unsplash