“A few months ago, I bumped into this community (r/adultery) and messaged a man who is in my city. It was exciting and gave me the feeling of being alive and the ‘thrill,’” she explained.
She added, “Anyway, we were about to meet, and I totally chickened out.”
“Deleted my Reddit account and asked myself:”
Why do I want to complicate my life?
(Life is hard enough to begin with.)
Do I really want to go through that again?
(Not an angel here; I had some affairs in the past a loooong time ago. And I went through the hell of excitement of the secrecy and hiding. To complications as the AP developed feelings, shame, hiding your life from your friends…not to mention, I began to treat my SO like shit as things went on.)
Why don’t I work on my marriage?
How do I see this ending?
Well, I 100% agree that adultery is mostly a shit show filled with occasional mind-blowing sex, but I disagree with you being a coward and ghosting this clueless dude (even if he’s a cheater).
CHICKENING OUT IS NOT NICE.
Yeah, you have suddenly developed a moral compass, but you should have explained your reasoning to him. He’s the one left in the lurch.
“Why’d she disappear?”
“Was it something I said?”
“Am I too ugly?”
“Is anyone ever going to want to be with me?”
He’s going to be bitter for a long time. And reluctant to “chat” with more potential affair partners in the future because you hurt him. That poor bastard.
Does that make you feel good? That you wiped out his affair horizon in one easy keyboard stroke?
You got guilty.
Happens.
HAVE SOME HUMANITY.
Maybe adultery isn’t what you need in your life. That’s fine. It’s a roller coaster of dizzying ups and downs. And it’s the ride of your life.
Yet, don’t involve other people. Just don’t hurt anyone else.
Get therapy, read self-help ut why you need “attention” and “thrills” so badly, and find other ways to get those dopamine hits.
“With no thought about how the other person might feel or be impacted by your ‘life decision,’ you ‘chickened out’ and deleted your Reddit account. So you ghosted someone after leading them on for months because it gave you a ‘thrill’? You’re a special kind of asshole. Those of us out here who have been wronged by people like you will not care how you feel about any of it,” explained one Redditor.
It’s true.
I’ve written my share about Guilt Kings and Queens who have made me doubt my sanity in this “biz.”
Please put the “adult” back in Adultery.
And don’t be as cold as ice.
…
Read my original take on guilt kings and queens here:
Guilt Kings and Queens
When they choke and can’t follow through
medium.com
And about the rollercoaster:
You Shouldn’t Start An Affair
The Endless Rollercoaster of Adultery
medium.com
And don’t be “As cold as ice” or people will write songs (and articles) about you:
- Subscribe to The Scarlett Letter — it’s much more fun with the sinners. Billy Joel was right. Only the good die young.
- And to [email protected] because it’s free and I’m so bad, I’m good.
- Plus help a lady adulteress out: Ko-fi/monalisasmiled or [email protected]
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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