When his alarm went off at 7am, I knew we only had minutes before he was gone for good.
I rolled over. Heard the shower turn on.
And next thing I knew I was hugging him at the door.
Embraced and teary. Spiraling. I choked out my last attempt to make it work.
The response was exactly what I expected.
And frankly, the choice we both knew was correct.
No matter how much we loved each other — no matter how much we kissed and cuddled and had sex, the reality of the situation was sitting there, plain as day.
We couldn’t make this work.
Love, it turns out, cannot always conquer all.
I sit here on a train. Crying.
This time, I wasn’t really let down. I wasn’t hurt. I wasn’t even mad.
I’m crying because I have to face reality.
Whether we like it or not, we do not own other people. Love, while it survives great distances in movies, is a lot harder through a screen and once-in-a-while visits.
Strong emotions cannot sustain incompatibility.
Let me break that down for you.
It’s not enough to be in love. You also need compatible lifestyles.
So many of us are seeking romance, but so few of us are seeking partnership.
Romance is enticing. It’s intoxicating. It wakes you up in the morning excited for it to happen and starry-eyed when you go to bed.
Partnership is not as fun.
It’s practical. Thoughtful. Graceful as you move carefully towards a lifestyle that brings out the best in both of you.
Sometimes you want it to work, but you can’t.
He knew. I knew.
Having to say goodbye is so painful.
Having to say goodbye when you don’t want to, but know you have to is even worse. It keeps you awake as you wonder if you made the right choice.
But there’s power in being able to recognize what can or cannot work for you.
Love is not just emotion.
It’s like a clock. With each piece of the internal mechanisms functioning every day to maintain itself.
I’ll always feel the love I have for him.
Him sleeping next to me. Kisses on the way out the door. Holding his hand.
But sometimes life — not love — brings us to a close.
Love, unfortunately, is just not enough.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash