I’m all for respecting your elders. It’s what I was taught & had engrained in me since I was a child. However, in 2022, my belief in this isn’t as strong as it used to be, because of the ugliness I’ve seen from adults who have this superiority mindset towards younger people.
There should be healthy respect towards your parents (good parents that is) or people in your life that’s much older than you. But, certain older people go to the extreme in demanding respect from those younger than themselves.
Some have this strong drive to put younger people ‘’in their place’’. I saw an example of this on a YouTube video I came across a few days ago. A few older black men were talking down to a man 20 years younger than them in a discussion that they were having on their Livestream. One of the men in particular, how he scorned the younger guy was infuriating to hear.
The young guy wasn’t hostile or belligerent (like certain ones can be), he listen to what was being said, and then he would give his input (when he was allowed to). Then the older men would proceed to give him the ‘’respect your elders’’ tirade. I stopped listening to it after five minutes. Sadly, I knew adults like this in my life who would ‘’check’’ you whenever they could.
Certain dating coaches have this attitude, when they get questions from younger people who want their advice on dating — or how to be comfortable in their own skin. When they respond to them, there’s an undercurrent of arrogance & this superiority attitude in their response. As if they have little respect for the person who seeks their counsel.
It’s a fear tactic to keep the young psychologically afraid & heavily dependent in a crippling way. It took me back to those days of hearing the saying that ‘’children should be seen not heard’’. When you undermine the voices of the youth, those voices will find a way out in some other form like music, art, writing or another outlet that allows young people’s voices to run free without opposition from elders.
When these kinds of older people want respect, they want you to respect them no matter what they do. They could constantly disrespect you, but, because they’re the elder, you’re supposed to respect them.
All they want to do is lecture…lecture…lecture… They want us to listen to them, but, they themselves don’t want to listen at all. It’s all about them getting their point of view out without hearing younger people their perspective & how they see things.
If you try to give these elders sound advice. It’ll fall on deaf ears. And then the lecture continues. They belittle and undermine our struggles — because it isn’t their struggles.
The elders that I have love & respect for, never talk down to me, undermine, or belittle me because I’m much younger than them. They can be firm with me, but it comes from a loving place.
To get the respect you want, you have to be a respectable human being that has wisdom. Certain elders don’t deserve respect, because they don’t have the receipts for respectability, just like certain younger people don’t deserve respect because they’re just a pain to be around.
Respect is earned. It’s a wonderful feeling to earn someone’s respect, rather than trying to force respect out of people. That strategy will only motivate people to not respect us.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: engin akyurt on Unsplash
