Being born a white, heterosexual, able bodied, male, born in the United States to educated, Christian parents left me with little to struggle for. As a card carrying member of privilege I would like to give some advice to my fellow members. It seems to me that the privileged would be better suited to consider their own personal responsibility instead of insisting folks who fall outside such privilege to be more responsible.
The world of social media has become a giant advice column for those who believe they simply know better. I often find those who look like me (white men) feel it’s their duty to point out the lack of personal responsibility found in communities of color, the LGBTQ community or of women. What they fail to understand is that personal responsibility is a two-way street. They want people to be more responsible yet they shirk any responsibility that comes from being a person of privilege. They usually justify their behavior by denying they have any such privilege.
Privileged folks like to lay blame at the feet of those not born into a particular set of circumstances. We blame the poor for their poverty. We blame the sick for their illness. We blame the marginalized who have their civil rights violated or for not having the same rights we have. People certainly need to take personal responsibility but that also includes those who gain from a system that was set up and remains maintained for their benefit.
When those with inherent privilege fail to recognize or understand systemic injustice it only strengthens such injustice. What happens is they remain dysfunctionally loyal to a set of circumstances they had no control in determining. They remain loyal to a false narrative by which they claim hard work or meritocracy is the complete picture of any success they may have gained in their lives. They continue to view the world through a lens where they see themselves as an island instead of part of a larger community that has supported them. They refuse to look beneath the thin veneer of the so-called American Dream, because to do so would challenge one of their most cherished core beliefs. Once we realize the game has been rigged then the unraveling begins and pain ensues. Once we see the hidden relationships of privilege we can no longer deny it or ignore it.
What is our responsibility concerning the oppression that exists as a result of our inherent privilege? I’m all for people taking personal responsibility in their lives. However privilege has a price. Part of the price is the responsibility to challenge our privilege, work towards dismantling it and becoming allies to those who pay the cost of it via oppression. There is no privilege without oppression. There is no justice without hard work. I’m not talking about the hard work we bought into when we were handed the American Dream at birth. Instead, I’m talking about actual hard work. The kind that requires us to break our dysfunctional loyalty towards our inherent privilege. Here, briefly, is what that hard work looks like:
Reflecting on our own privilege and the impact it has on folks who fall outside of such privilege. In other words, flip the script and see how circumstances change when you view the world through a different lens. If you were born being marginalized by a culture that validates those who are privileged, what might the world look like for you?
Becoming allies, comrades and human shields to those whom our privilege brings constant suffering. Men become allies for women, males for females, white folks for people of color, heterosexuals for the LBGTQÂ community, humans towards all other species.
- Listening to folks and believing their circumstances.
- Following instead of leading when it comes to supporting folks fighting for justice.
- Committing treason against privilege and therefore loyalty towards justice.
If we continue to take the same action we’ve always taken then we can expect the same results. Those with privilege have always believed they weren’t part of the problem. One will quickly come to realize that the version of hard work we’ve been handed is quite easy in comparison to the real hard work most of us, I dare say, have not yet begun; challenging our own privilege in the pursuit of true justice for all of us. Applying these guidelines will most likely be the hardest, most difficult work of our lives. Why? Simply because they require us to take responsibility and make the necessary changes in order to find a life we’re unfamiliar with … one full of empathy.
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Excellent! So beautifully put! A sentiment I’ve wanted to see in print for a very long time! Thanks for this Mike!
Sure as long as you recognize your personal privilege and not foist it upon the group. For example, you say males are privileged. Why then do they do worse in school? Why then do they end up going to prison more, committing suicide more often, and dying earlier? Is you’re initial reaction personal responsibility perhaps rather than empathy? How do you become allies and shields to the white males falling behind the under 30, never married, women? Do you simply say that the reality doesn’t match my narrative so I’ll look the other way. Some people are blessed with intelligence,… Read more »
Look up systemic injustice and move beyond the story you tell yourself about yourself. It’s about systems of injustice that have been created through generations by those who think it’s about them rather than the community as a whole. The difference between the examples you speak of and I lay out is simple: people aren’t being killed for their good looks. Listen to those that have been telling you to get your privileged boot off of their collective throats. You might learn something from them.
I have learned something from them, that they are rife with logical fallacies based upon a philosophical ideologies predicated upon hyperbolic assumptions and theoretic conjecture that simply does not add up in reality or real life situations. They are not clear and rational thinkers that simply choose to form a conclusion and then seek only those ideas that support such a conclusion without examining the entirety of the paradigm. White males, males in general are the only unprotected class of people in this country today, and therefore easily targeted by the outliers and extremists…because they can, not because rational thought… Read more »
It certainly has a cost…you’re a fine example of the insidious nature of such a narrative. I would love to hear you spew your diatribe to a person of color in a very public place…like your work place. You won’t do that though because people like yourself pop off online but in public you hide.
@ Mike Sliwa “Look up systemic injustice” I understand what it should mean and I understand what people like you think it should mean. What you want it to mean is that we live in a static privilege hierarchy where men are always privileged over women and whites are always privileged over minorities. What it should mean is past institutional racism having an affect on present time. Yeah, a lot of the sh*y has been fixed, but that doesn’t support your 1950s narrative. Institutional racism is legacy admissions at college. There was a time only white people were allowed in… Read more »
Post racial America bs … Your reciting the White Male Manifesto. Listen to what’s being said and then ask yourself why you still doubt other peoples experiences…because you believe the white supremacist systemic narrative.
Just to point out some subtler forms of the privileged attitude where if you speak up for the above mentioned issues in order to set boundaries, you end up being judged as party pooper, or having victim attitude, by arguing for ones limitations. This is hard stuff to address without some level of commitment as in community or one on one relationship.
Great points…not going to be popular at parties for sure. May not get invited to future parties.
Mike, well written, but good luck getting through to my fellow privileged wise apes, haha. (But I know you won’t give up!) So, you suggest the “hard work” of the privileged begins here: “Reflecting on our own privilege and the impact it has on folks who fall outside of such privilege.” Yes, as Derrick Jensen points out, his locals (with a 12,000 year heritage) point out to him that the first (and hardest?) thing European invaders need to do to “help” is to “decolonize their minds.” I’m also reminded that you’re probably taking on one of Robert Comb’s “Unquestioned beliefs… Read more »
Great comment Brad…it’s a clusterfuck and all we can continue to do is challenge the dominant narrative…and you certainly have been doing that much longer than me.
“Being born a white, heterosexual, able bodied, male, born in the United States to educated, Christian parents left me with little to struggle for.” I guess you’re not from the lower or middle class American whites? I was born into a middle class white family where my dad was a tool and dye maker. I worked my ass of for EVERYTHING I have. How dare you minimize the countless white men who have done the same! I got a scholarship to the Chicago Art Ins.t/U of C because of MY efforts and certainly not because I’m white. Do me a… Read more »
Classism doesn’t negate white privilege. Your dysfunctional loyalty to your skin color is showing. The privilege of being white is not seeing the hidden relationships that come with it: A version of history that tells you your people made this country great A national narrative that portrays the story from a white dominated media, government and business sector A normalcy of of the Eurocentric white culture Christianity, the entertainment industry, news. But the biggest privilege is you and I don’t have to think about race unless we want to and then when we grow tired of it we think about… Read more »
Classism absolutely does negate such. So does heritage. To call a second generation Italian “white and privileged” is yet another of many examples of the irrational thought process that we call “group think”. It is all about class and not gender. In fact, its all about economics, capitalism and capitol gains, which is why “white male privilege” does not flow down hill as so many seek to assume. Race and gender, like law, are the constructs that keep the unaware mind occupied with irrational conflict and division, a control mechanism, and a very effective one. Point at gays yesterday, point… Read more »
Guilt is your issue not mine. Responsibility for current oppression is not guilt. Privileges intersect and white systemic supremacy is a pillar of this nation so your comparisons lack history my friend. Nice try.