Romance Yourself to Sleep

For the insomniacs, the anxious and the fed up. Here are 5 ways to seduce yourself into a good night’s rest.

1. Turn of screens an hour before bed

You’ve heard it before but watching tv and staying up late on your phone is disrupting your sleep. And don’t just mute notifications, put the phone out of sight. Would you have your phone out on a date?

Don’t be fucking rude. Your wind down routine deserves your undivided attention.

2. Take a shower or bath

Listen, I am a fan of morning showers but evening showers truly hit different. Our body temperature naturally drops in the evening, preparing us for sleep. Couple that with a warm, night time shower about 90 minutes before bed and your sleep quality will improve dramatically.

3. Light a candle or incense

Spark that baby up and do some deep breathing.

Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Repeat 5 times.

Calming scents include lavender, eucalyptus, jasmine, chamomile, peppermint — the list goes on. Personally, lavender is the scent I associate most with relaxation and sleep. It’s scientifically proven to lower heart rate and blood pressure which means ~good vibes only~.

4. Turn the lights down

Absence of light tells your body it’s time to rest. Invest in blackout curtains. During wind down, use candlelight or a small, dim lamp instead of an overhead light and for God’s sake take out that 350 watt incandescent bulb out from your bedroom. You don’t need the equivalent of the sun’s rays shining down on you while you change into a nightie and it’s especially awkward for the next step.

5. Orgasm

Only use your bed for two things: fucking and sleeping.

(I want to make an exception for reading but I love it too much to make an association with falling asleep. Read on the couch, then go to bed. Don’t fight me on this.) Your partner doesn’t fall asleep after sex because they’re monsters, they fall asleep because they’re built that way. When we orgasm, we release a ton of feel good chemicals that make us feel relaxed and sleepy. Use it to your advantage.

6. Use an eye mask

If not for the light it keeps out, for the pressure it puts on your lids. Shit works. Want to kick it up a notch and really look like a dork? Use ear plugs. I know, I know — earplugs are for old dudes at rock concerts. They’re not cute and they come in obnoxious colors BUT they do wonders for keeping out noise and help you focus on your breathing.

Honorable mentions:

Journaling, drinking warm, decaf tea like chamomile or kava, slow flow yoga, cranking the air up to a cool 68 degrees, warm socks.

Sleep hygiene looks different for everyone.

Maybe ASMR and meds do it for you, or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who hits the pillow and is out (HOW?). For me, a wind down routine focused on unplugging and self care hits my sweet spot.

Don’t beat yourself up for not falling asleep fast enough or for not falling asleep at all. Patience and self compassion are key.

A good wind down routine will calm anxiety and fears; sleep will eventually follow. Find romance in spending time with yourself. Indulge in what helps you unwind, what soothes you and seduce yourself into a good night’s rest.

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Previously published on medium

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