Rules for Sleepovers

This past weekend we hosted what I suppose could be called a modest slumber party, three overnight guests as opposed to the usual single girl. My wife kept them busy with some pretty elaborate (by my standards) Christmas decoration crafts, nails were painted, pizza eaten, and our tree was decorated while I stayed out of the way and watched college football championships.

There was a lot of glitter to clean up but nothing got broken, nobody cried or got hurt and to the best of my knowledge they all slept for approximately eight hours. It was a night I’d consider successful by any measurement and according to the members of my Dad Facebook groups extremely rare. We were surely helped by knowing these girls very well before hand, all had slept over our house on previous occasions, but after hearing some of the horror stories others have encountered I decided that it might be useful for somebody to offer a list of things to consider before sending your little precious off to somebody else’s house for the night.

With nobody qualified on hand, I took it upon myself. It’s not definitive but these are the five biggest complaints that I encountered after conducting an admittedly limited survey.

1. Remind them before drop off to be polite. If they are old enough for sleepovers chances are pretty good that they are already at the age where you will receive an eye roll for this, but it’s important. Nobody might want to admit this but you are being judged based on whether or not your kid says “please” and “thank you.” It takes very little effort from either you or your child to make sure that the hosting parents know that their efforts are appreciated.

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2. If your child has allergies or special food requests make sure this is known well in advance. We usually just take the safe route and order cheese pizzas but without knowing about a gluten sensitivity wouldn’t have much of a back up plan. Most parents will have no problem making sure that there is something for your kid to eat but if it’s going to take an additional effort don’t expect them to run to the store the night before or that morning because you forgot to mention a kool aid allergy.

3. If this is their first sleepover and you have reservations about them making it through the night give a head’s up so that the hosts aren’t surprised by a screaming child knocking on their door at 2 AM. If there is a blanket or stuffy that they sleep with every night at home, make sure it gets packed. If your child has night terrors or does weird shenanigans like sleep walk that should be mentioned as well.

4. Pick up times should be communicated beforehand but if they aren’t, or if the hosts tell you that “anytime would be fine” don’t assume that means that you have the entire next day kid-free. Its assumed that you may have taken advantage of being childless the night before and nobody should be expected to retrieve their children at the crack of dawn but showing up late in the afternoon is pushing the boundaries of hospitality. Only the closest of friends and family should ever be expected to feed somebody else’s child more than two meals at a visit.

5. More than one suitcase is unnecessary but don’t be shy about the amount of spare clothes that you pack. If there are going to be activities where clothing could potentially get ruined it is the host’s obligation to provide warning but spills and accidents are inevitable. Children are disgusting creatures, both little boys and girls. Put more than a handful in a room at a time and at some point there is going to be a farting contest. I think we all know how those sometimes end.

Among the other dudes that joined this conversation were my buds at Digital Dad, Dad Sews and An Interdisciplinary Life. Check them out and give me anything you’d like to add in the comments.

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This post was previously published on thirstydaddy.com.

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