Sacred Union refers to a concept of the balancing of energy within someone’s body and, hopefully, one day also on the planet. We have a long way to go. Purging of trauma and shedding the past is not an easy process nor should it be rushed. We may be sensitive to the energy around us but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to be in control and work with it instead of suffer.
Individuation is the process of separating from the family so you can grow into your adult self. We used to have many rights of passage around this process. We sometimes thought of it as the transition to college but these days it has become normal all over the world for adult children to move back in with their parents. Our destinies are being impacted by the relationships around us.
For many of us this is okay and this moment in time is a beautiful break from the striving culture prior to the pandemic. But what I have seen in my practice is that our healing has lead us into a state of contentment without much thought of our passions, desires and life purpose. Why? We are not individuated. Individuation is about become YOURSELF. It involves all aspects of your personality and way of being but most importantly, it involves stepping into the world — without fear — and being who you truly are. We all have a life purpose but I have grown concerned that our healing journeys have sold us the falsity that we should just fous on relationships and specifically the one with our mother.
While I have spent 20 years of my career working in the relationship world, I would be the first to tell you that my job is not to just help you repair your ancestoral trauma but it is to set you free for you to fly and become who you really are. Many of us incarnate into families who expect us to not strive, not be ambitious, to put them first when we are precisely supposed to find our way on our own.
Others of us will find out later in the life that the opposite can be true as well. Our spiritual journeys are INDIVIDUALIZED for a reason.
The biggest threat to individuality and creativity on this planet is believing that all there is to focus on in this world is love. Love and learning unconditional love is a necessary ingredient in the process but individuation is what makes you truly human. You are going to see governments co-opting the beautiful work psychologists have done for families, children and babies over the past few decades. You are going to continue to be inundated with reminders to “be kind” at work when we really need to create safe spaces to be who we really are.
When the world, its governments, our financial markets and other systems and structures that are not human centered squash individuality after we have collectively done so much trauma healing work — we will miss the opportunity to RISE to support the next generation in rising into who they really are and learning what the new earth is supposed to be about.
I get it. While I’m not a parent, I’ve worked with them for over 15 years. I know how scary it is to face your teenager who is rebelling and asking for freedom. I know how scary it is to try to have an adult conversation with your college age or young adult son/daughter. And yet everything I’ve learned from my profession of psychology (which resulted in a doctorate in child psychology and 2 master’s degrees in child development) is how fucking difficult it is JUST TO LET GO and trust that the world will not fall apart.
Parents have learned that they have to let go at some point. The rest of our world needs to learn the same. We are in the midst of great change but it is not unexpected change. Highly intuitive people have been preparing for this time but until we are on the journey — we don’t really know to listen.
In a time of the rise of AI, robots and science and technology, we need our humanness now more than ever. Are you brave enough to do the work to individuate — perhaps again after the pandemic — and do what you know your soul wants you to do? Or will you follow all the trends without taking the time to find out who you really are?
It is part of human development to take the time to find your true essence. The self that is supposed to interact with the outside world. The self that is free of shame and anxiety and is here to serve others. The self that knows how important self-care is for this aspect of the journey. The self that chooses to tap into her mind and use the power of her intellect to start the path toward meeting her true higher self.
Just because you have magical spiritual and energetic skills does not mean you are individuated into you true self. Just because you are a dancer or an artist doesn’t mean you know how to hold your ground when the outside world conspires to shape your output.
Knowing your true self is the pathway to freedom and we need these people now more than ever.
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Previously Published on Medium
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