Seriously, when did it become OK to treat men like Pavlov’s dogs?
Ladies, do you want more sex with your guy? Are you constantly wondering why you don’t get down and dirty more often than once a month? Well it’s your lucky day, because here are some tips on the best ways to have sex more often with your husband:
- Make sure the house is clean. Coming home to a messy house is annoying and will not put him in the mood.
- Step up the household chores. He’s been busy at work all day long so do your best to make sure the dishes are done, the floors mopped and the counters cleaned.
- Take the kids out by yourself. Give him some time to relax and recharge his batteries without screaming kids in his ear.
- Get in shape. You don’t need to be a supermodel, but we’d like it if you were at a healthy weight. We’re concerned about your health and want you to be around for a long time.
First of all the aforementioned tips are sarcasm and definitely not to be taken seriously. Because we all know if anyone actually came out with an absurd list like this aimed at you ladies, there would uprisings and upheavals by women everywhere. And deservedly so.
Which makes me wonder why it’s perfectly acceptable—and all too common—that “advice” such as this is spewed to men at the drop of a hat.
Some articles say men can get more sex by being more of a handyman around the house, jumping on a treadmill and taking the kids out so mom can relax. Others stress that if guys clean the kitchen their chances of some action increase exponentially. This article expounds on the need for guys to do more domestically to get sex, and—just for good measure—“assumes that you are a typical guy who’s slacking a bit in the family and home department.” And finally, there’s the suggestion that men can get to the promised land by throwing money around and hiring a maid to help their wives clean.
When the hell did this become acceptable??
Tom Matlack wrote a column a few days ago called “Is Sex Dead?” in which his married friends talk about how difficult it is to get any sexual intimacy from their wives. They basically say having sex is so rare it’s like a space shuttle launch, in that all the conditions have to be absolutely perfect. While that’s somewhat inevitable, especially with kids, it’s also pretty sad.
Look, all men should strive to be the best person they can be. They should help around the house, co-parent their children and work hard to provide for their families both in the office and at home as the case may be. And quite frankly, I think the majority of men do this already.
Seriously, when did it become OK to treat men like Pavlov’s dogs? Sexual intimacy is about love, attraction and lust. It should not be dependent on the old adage “what have you done for me lately.” Yet while it’s become perfectly common and acceptable for wives to demand these things from husbands in order to get sex, if men ever tried this with women feminists all over the world would have a collective fit.
By all accounts I’m an involved dad. I work full-time with a long commute, but I pull my weight. I do the dishes, clean up the house, take the trash out and generally share in all household/parenting duties.
I am also desperately in love with my wife. I lust after her. Constantly. If I come home from work and the house looks like a tornado hit, it has absolutely no bearing on my desire to have sex with her. None whatsoever. I want to have sex with her because she’s the love of my life and I’m insanely attracted to her. And vice-versa.
Now I’m fully aware that sex—especially after children—is a tall task. There’s sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, stay-at-home parenting…it’s truly an exhausting endeavor. Mentally and physically. But I contend we should be having sex because we want to. Because we want one another and desire to keep our marriages fresh and solid. It should not be dependent on one of the parties doing the proper amount of dishes or breaking out the stopwatch to track the amount of time spent cleaning.
Hell, why don’t we just move to a points system? The dishes plus mopping the floor gets you a handjob. Wiping down the counters and watching the kid while she gets a manicure earns you some oral. Before long it’ll take shingling the roof, repairing the furnace and building an addition on the house just to get laid.
Sex should be its own reward, so stop treating men like we’re dogs waiting for a treat.