One of the most difficult question when your partner cheats you is, — should you continue to hang into the relationship?
When a promise is broken which is taken during marriage vows, or may be an unspoken trust of staying together, life seems to standstill completely.
I faced similar situation years back when my wife cheated on me.
But believe me infidelity is not very uncommon. But when it happens it creates a lot of questions in your mind.
Should you stay back in the relationship ? Can you trust the same person in life again ? Is it possible for you to love your partner truly ?
And the obvious dilemma — Whether you should call it a quit and stay apart ?
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The reason of a cheating can be so many.
In reality people cheats in most happy marriages! Yes, it is shocking but true.
Infidelity is pretty exciting, enjoyable, gives someone the hormone rush to feel the new found joy.
But on the opposite side the betrayed partner goes through a series of negative emotions from anger to hate and feeling of betrayal, doubt, anxiety and heart break.
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Now the true reason of cheating is unknown. Very few cheating partner will ever tell you the true story.
Many times the cheating partner will end up putting the burden on the other partner.
They will explain with not having enough together time, not having enough attention or something else that they will build up as a reason.
It is sometime futile to believe their side of the story.
From survey conducted independently by many groups, it is found that — People cheats because they seek out variety, they want importance and they want to be feel loved.
It could be a false assumption that men cheat more than women. In fact women have quite a fair share of cheating as well.
Reasons could vary between men and women though.
Independent surveys conducted shows that men tend to be fine with cheating with only sexual interest outside marriage.
Almost 44% males who admitted of cheating confirmed that the reason of cheating is not emotional but completely sexual to get physically intimate with others beyond the marriage vows.
Where as only 11% females admitted to cheat for sexual fulfillment. It seems that females though cheat as good as men, but want more fulfilling physical and emotional connection when cheating outside of a steady relationship.
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What factors influence most to decide whether the relationship still continues after the infidelity damaged the trust.
Finance — Believe it or not partners do think about the implication of personal finance once they think about a separation.
Raising a child — If their is a kid involved, initially that binds both the partners though there is lots of argument. In fact in my life, one of the reason we stayed back initially was to support our son.
Opinion of family and friends — Now though it is a surprising matter, but family and friends play an important role to decide whether the couple will stay together.
It was observed that positive counselling by family of the partners help them to stay together in time of crisis. A study by Rosie Shrout and Daniel Weigel of the University of Nevada gives us more insight into this.
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Now should you stick with your partner after the cheating ?
This does not have any straight forward answer. Mostly it is your choice after you carefully discuss with your partner about how the future look for both of you.
Just remember that if your spouse has history of cheating in earlier relationship then there is a high probability that he or she will do it again.
Before restarting your relationship do not forget to ask these 10 questions to your partner. The answers will help you to navigate the difficult times.
All the best for your life ahead !
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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