She Wasn’t a Psycho, She Was With a Narcissist

They were on their first date having coffee together. Before she could finish her latte, he’d already told her about his crazy ex-girlfriend.

“She’s a psycho,” he said.

He later mentioned that his sister and mother were both crazy too.

Yet he was charming and so handsome. He gazed into her eyes and said he’d never met anyone like her before.

He bought her thoughtful gifts. He took her out to romantic dinners.

She fell madly in love with him.

As time went on, she couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have met such an amazing man. She sympathized with him. How could people treat him so badly?

She was going to change his life. He’d get over that crazy ex.

She’d give him so much love, he’d forget all about the other pyscho women in his life. They would have a life-giving love.

Does this story sound familiar?

This story is familiar because it’s the reality for many women. It’s the reality for men too. Anyone who’s ever become involved with a narcissistic person will not escape this abuse.

To the narcissist, the people around them are the crazy ones.

They’re annoyed that their obsessed exes stalk them, create scenes in public, and sob uncontrollably. They tell everyone how their exes are jealous, insecure, and oversensitive.

And they tell people their family members are unstable and unreasonable.

They would never in a million years believe the problem is with them.

They’re a good person who helps others and gives to the less fortunate. They’ve been victimized by all the crazy people around them.

There’s no way the problem is with them. Except it is.

How the partner of the narcissist suffers

In the beginning, everything was going great. The narcissist was giving their partner so much love and focused attention.

They were telling them they were the love of their life. They wined them, dined them, and brought them gifts. They were over the top.

Then suddenly, they started to pull away without an explanation.

The narcissist denied the loving words they’d said to them only weeks ago.

It caused their partner confusion and a sense of unreality. The partner couldn’t trust their perceptions of what was happening with their partner.

When a narcissist manipulates someone by love-bombing, gaslighting, and triangulation, it causes their partner to question their sanity. Everything feels unreal.

This is emotional abuse.

Then they bring in someone new

The narcissist then brought other people they were seeing around their partner. This caused their normally rational partner intense jealousy.

The narcissist said that the new person’s only a friend. They lied.

Now they’re posting vacation photos with their new love. This is while they’re still in a relationship with their partner. When questioned, they’ll insist the new love is only a friend.

They say their partner is too insecure, and oversensitive.

Now the partner becomes terrified they’re going to lose the love of their life.

They’ll do everything they can to keep the narcissist. They’ll text to ask if everything is ok. They start crying during conversations on the phone.

The narcissist is cold as a block of ice. They have no empathy.

The discard

Next, the narcissist was telling their friends their partner was a pyscho.

Every narcissist needs more narcissistic supply, and no one is ever good enough. They already had the replacement lined up before they coldly ended their relationship.

The partner was wondering what the hell happened. They thought everything was perfect. They’re devastated by their loss. They may even feel worthless as human beings.

It’s not their fault. They were victims of emotional abuse.

Yet, they’re hoping the narcissist will come back to them. They’ll be a better boyfriend/girlfriend this time.

Unfortunately, the narcissist usually does come back. They can never get enough of narcissistic supply.

Yet they only return to bring their victim more pain. It never gets better. It’s a terrible cycle of emotional abuse.