Dear Other Dad —
My son really wants to go to college but I’m not sure we can afford it. Should I let my son take student loans? I’m still paying off mine. I don’t know what’s worse — no college or debt till he’s my age.
— Nervous
This is a question for which is there is no easy, universal answer. The variables are so great — from field of study to kind of school to region of the country to what you mean by “not sure we can afford it.” And the statistics, pro and con, don’t make your choice any more obvious.
The only thing that is clear is how expensive college has become. Higher ed costs have increased dramatically over the years even though wages have not kept up; even when dollars are adjusted for inflation across time, we see that Baby Boomers paid less than half what Gen Z college students now pay. The average student loan debt of graduates in 2019 was over $30,000 — and many owe quite a bit more.
But is it worth it? In the short term, it can be dicey: 40% of students with bachelor’s degrees are underemployed six months later, meaning that they have had to take jobs that require less education than they have or none at all. Yet longer-range studies in the past have shown that, measured across a lifetime, college grads have measurably higher wages with lower rates of poverty and unemployment. Of course, the current pandemic economy muddies the waters considerably.
Like with so many facets of life, you need to evaluate the value versus the potential harm. For many people in my generation, college is associated not merely with the specific degree but with collateral benefits that are valued just as highly: intellectual and social growth, connections that may last long after college ends, and access, simply by having any degree, to more jobs that offer health care and other benefits. These are true virtues that you may well feel make the investment worth it — but not if you’re choosing between a child’s degree and a roof over your head.
There are a number of online tools that can help you determine whether your child’s loan options would be an undue burden. One rule of thumb is borrow an amount that will yield monthly payments of no more than 10% of his take home pay. An online calculator could help estimate this if you can find average earnings in his field to use as a guideline. Once you have used the calculator to generate what amount he should borrow to stick to this limit, you can determine whether that amount would be enough to make college affordable or whether he will need a higher amount.
Should you choose to take loans, impress on your son what it means to do so: he can’t just drop out without penalty. If he does not complete his degree, the cost of his loan becomes infinitely higher, as he won’t be balancing those payments with the increased earnings a degree brings. And as soon as he’s not a student, the reality of payments kicks in.
Because you know firsthand what it’s like to spend years (or perhaps decades) chipping away at a loan, you might also consider other ways to get the most bang for your buck. For one thing, though many people are biased toward private colleges as, community colleges are decidedly lower in cost, as are state schools, offering the benefits of legitimate degrees earned closer to home (perhaps negating the need for dorm costs) and also being part-time friendly (if your sent went to school half time, he’d still have his degree in his twenties.) Your child doesn’t have to travel across the country to a leafy quad to reap most of the collateral benefits of higher ed.
Your son also doesn’t need to study at a liberal arts college. Don’t get me wrong: a liberal arts education is highly attractive to many employers and the buffet approach to learning can open up an array of paths. But trade schools have coming roaring back in recent years because they yield laborers with skills that never go out of fashion — electricians, plumbers, and welders, for instance. While an English major might struggle to find work in a recession, these workers will likely be just fine. Paradoxically, the prejudice towards liberal arts degrees led to fewer students pursuing skilled trades, which means workers in these fields are in higher demand, in turn yielding higher wages.
Whether your son wants to go to trade school, community college, a state school, or a private university, you can’t ignore the x factor: quality of life. As a parent, it is natural to want your son to do something he finds fulfilling. If you are certain that one kind of education is more likely to yield that than another, then I suspect that financials won’t determine your choice.
I can’t speak for any experience but my own, and mine leaves me with mixed feelings. I was the first in my immediate family to get a degree and it was only possible because I got scholarships, grants, and loans, in addition to working. I got my master’s degree with more loans and followed all the instructions I was give about income-sensitive repayment in those first years, before switching to full payments as soon as I could afford it on my teaching degree. At 54, I am still paying.
For years, my loans felt like an enormous burden, something that stood between me and savings, a millstone around my neck weighted with interest more than principal. But the older I get, the more I am also aware that the life I lead now is possible because of those loans.
As my daughter approaches college-age, I weigh both truths. If not taking loans would keep her out of college, I’ll let her take them; but if she does, I won’t turn a blind eye to their size. There will have to sensible limits in hopes that when she is my age, they will be a memory, not a burden. I hope that’s the balance you can strike for your son on his journey ahead.
Dear Other Dad Says is a weekly column offering friendly advice from family you don’t live with. Send questions to [email protected]
—
This post was previously published on The Shadow.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Pexels