Should You Help, or Mind Your Own Business?

I wonder, if it wasn’t for the people who came before us, would we have what we have now? All of the schools, the hospitals, and the medicine that was researched by Scientists for our benefit? I’m grateful for their contributions but I also believe that their desire to do the things they did, came from inside themselves, not outside.

That means that on some level, their motivation was self-serving because they felt right about doing it. Think about it, if something doesn’t feel right, do you still go against your better judgment?

With that being said, when is it right to intervene or step away?

Say, for instance, you hear a woman being beaten by her husband a few doors down. Knowing it’s wrong, you rush in and try to save her by fighting the man off, but in the midst of an unfortunate altercation, you get so badly hurt that your life takes a turn for the worst — and then you start regretting that you ever helped her in the first place.

But let’s say you did nothing, and the next day you hear that the woman died. And not only that, but the man who murdered her now attacks someone else who you just happen to know within the following week — which could’ve been prevented had someone stopped him before (like you).You see, this can all get very confusing. When do we help others, or not? And, are we responsible for each other or only for ourselves?

I believe that I’m a pretty awakened person, so I’m going to tell you what I feel.

I feel that everyone has a unique role to play in life, and the key word here is unique because no two people are designed to carry out the same task or responsibility.

Let me repeat that: “No two people are designed to carry out the same task or responsibility.”

Everyone can’t be a Doctor to heal the sick. Everyone can’t be a Cop to defend victims. And again, everyone is not designed to carry out the same task — or mission, if that sounds like a better word.

To some extent, the human family is responsible for each other. That’s what community is all about. But, it’s imperative to realize that we should not begin to enable one another and make excuses for why other people decide to make the choices that they decide to make.

If someone decides to walk down the wrong road after being warned that it’s dangerous, is it your responsibility to run after them and die (or get badly hurt) in the process, after you specifically told them of the horrors that lie ahead? Say they walked into a hazardous area pervaded with poison, got back together with an abuser, or started using hardcore drugs. There is a fine line between going to rescue someone and allowing others to create their own fate and learn their own lessons.

Free will is a gift.

If you are well equipped to help someone before they make a massive mistake, then by all means, do it. However, we’ve all met someone who likes to play hero, and after some time passes, it becomes evident that they care more about looking like “the savior” than they actually do about the incident — and therein lies the difference.

They say that a team is only as strong as their weakest link. This makes me believe that it is up to each individual to become their best version, not a perfect version, but just their best. In this way, we won’t make it harder on other people to try and rescue us when we could’ve prevented certain tragedies from happening ourselves. Now, I’m not suggesting that anyone beat themselves up for seeking help. You’re not weak (if you do need real help in a specific area). We only become a burden if we expect to receive help from someone whose unique task and sole purpose are not in alignment with what we need.

For example, a garden should not be left under the management of a person who doesn’t have a green thumb. The plants will suffer, not because the person is a bad person, but because the person’s divine gifts probably belonged in an entirely different area that they were absent from since they were in the wrong place, trying to help what they weren’t spiritually designed to serve.

Believe me, there is always a compatible and harmonious match.

But you have to know who you are and where you fit in. In other words, it’s like knowing where your place is in the world — and where it’s not.

The question remains, should you get involved or mind your own business? Depending on the situation, sometimes it’s not your responsibility to throw yourself into the fire. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t find the right people who are more equipped to handle certain situations. You are not cold-hearted if you turn away from one thing to help another. Because the truth is, we’re always helping someone or something. And if you can’t help someone today in Building A, it’s because you’re probably meant to help someone in Building B or C instead. Does this make sense?

Your efforts, advice, guidance, mentorship, help, and intervention won’t be right for everyone. But for those that it is, you should be available.

The moral of the blog is that sometimes the best way to help your community is by being a living and breathing example of what it means to live in your power. If people don’t see “proof” of it, then why would they believe that it exists? Sometimes, knowing who you are and who you’re not is enough to inspire someone to get out of their rut, and evolve into something greater than who they were before because they see that it’s possible through you. We can’t always prevent people from falling into traps or losing their way, but if we become a lighthouse ourselves, then it gives them hope, direction, and the courage to do the same.

Remember, some people are doctors, others are cops, and some are firefighters, counselors, spiritual healers, and so forth. It’s not so much about the career title because that changes. But it’s about knowing what your soul is designed to do in this current lifetime. In that way, you’ll know which situations you are called to help, and which will only suck you into a darker vortex. The goal is not to allow people to pull you into their storm, but rather, to pull them into your peace — if you don’t falter.

Each candle matters in a community of light. Don’t let your flame blow out, trying to help those who don’t want the help or are not ready to receive it. Be available for those who are, and together, you can lead each other out of the darkness.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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