Ishibashi Sensei reminded that when I’m late for Aikido class or I don’t come to class, students don’t get to train with me. They miss out what I can give to them in practice. Yeah, I come to train and work on myself. I also come, to help others work on themselves, too. I must be mindful and thoughtful. It’s not all about me. It’s about others, about helping them. Whether I like it or not, I show up. I contribute to others. I give back all that others have contributed to me like Ishibashi Sensei.
In Writer and Director Shawn Levy’s Deadpool and Wolverine (2024), Hugh Jackman played Wolverine/Logan with world weary gravitas sitting by the campfire drinking a bottle of whiskey. Logan wallows in self-pity.
Mutant Laura, played by compassionate Daphne Keen, sits next to Logan. Laura possesses all Logan’s mutant powers. She’s his young clone. Logan is virtually her father. However, this Logan is the worst Logan from another Multiverse, not the one Laura knew in hers. In Writer and Director James Mangold’s Logan (2017), Logan selflessly died saving Laura and her Mutant friends. Laura believes that this Logan can still be her Logan.
Laura said, “You remind me of him. Angry, drunk, mean.”
Logan said, “Sounds like a great guy.”
Laura replied, “Let me finish. Showed up when it mattered most. Couldn’t help it. You might not know it, but you’re a good man, Logan.”
Logan replied, “You might not know it, but apparently, I’m the worst Logan.”
Laura poignantly said, “I got to have a life, because of you. I got to grow up, because of you. A lot of kids did, because of you.”
Logan showed up and made a profound difference.
I have to show up when it matters. I show up, because I can contribute something to others. It’s not all about me. It’s about them, about others. I try my best to make the world a better place for them.
After I made Shodan (1st degree black belt), I had my Come to Jesus Meeting with the late Mizukami Sensei. He said, “Are you going to be an asshole or help out?” In Aikido class, I was all in my head, afraid to do anything wrong, afraid to make a mistake. I was all about me.
Since, I give my all to help students become the best that they can be. Help guide them to invent the greater-than versions of themselves, whatever that may be. They become the greatest that they can be. They still have to come to train. Still have to put in the work. I show up and be the best Sensei that I can be for them. Maybe, I become like Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei. Who knows. I show up at the Dojo and in life.
I show up in Aikido class on Thursday and Friday. I help out Ishibashi Sensei teach kids and teenagers. Having another sensei in class makes it a lot easier for Sensei to teach. Honestly, I have the most fun training with and teaching the kids. That’s meaningful.
When I train with 14-year-old Jason and 15-year-old Isabel, I throw them with my feeling out, throw from my one point, ki. That’s what the late Mizukami Sensei taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me. Jason and Isabel throw me with their feeling out, too. When they feel how I throw them makes all the difference. That makes it real for them. I pass on Mizukami Sensei’s feeling to them, to the next generation.
In the bigger picture, Mizukami trained me to be strong inside, be calm in amidst the storm. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time. I teach that to the kids to so that they can be strong inside, too. I pass on all that Mizukami Sensei passed on to me to them. That’s out of my mad love and respect for Sensei, who is always inside me.
After an Aikido Class, Jason sincerely acknowledged me, “You’re 10 times better than me.” That too, was sincere hyperbole. I’m not 10 times better. I said, “My job is to make you 10 times better than me.” That was not hyperbole from me. I show up. I do my job.
When I was a little kid, Dad didn’t always show up for me when I really needed him. Now as Sensei, I show up for kids. I give what I had missed back then. I can make a difference for these kids. Guide them as they create the greater versions of themselves, whatever that might be. I show up for them. I show up for me, too. And the world is all the greater for that.
—
Photo: Behnm Mohsenzadeh, Unsplash+
