Holding space, showing up, being there for someone, has always fascinated me for some reason. Life coaching has given me one perspective, and the couple of decades I spent in healthcare gave me another. Life being life…has offered me the best experience, as I’ve been both on the receiving end of others showing up for me in remarkable ways—and in not so remarkable ways.
I find it so interesting that in a world where we so desperately need to connect, we simply don’t. Let’s be honest, it takes a village for more than just raising a child. It takes a village to get us through the week sometimes, to help us in our jobs, our parents aging, and our ever changing life goals.
Instead of connecting, we put up walls that push others away. We put up barriers everyday—barriers to closeness. Things like busyness, over time, leads to no time—and even “me time” can be extended to a point of imbalance.
I wonder to myself if before we require another to “hold space” for us during our difficult moments, was there an opportunity for someone to show up for us in our lives as it ran smoothly? Did they not show up or did we not let them in? Was it a combination of both? Are we waiting too long to connect, then becoming angry when no is there for us when we need them in the way that we need them to be?
Showing up and connecting in life, for me, means really sharing our lives. Those people we choose to be honest with—the ones we let into our world when the house isn’t spotless, the grass isn’t cut—and they do the same. Building a mutual trust without it needing to be articulated all the time—this is the foundation of who comes running when another is in need…to hold space through the dark times.
There are people I’ve met who understand that holding space in the moment is the most powerful force there is. Those are the people who have created a history with me of sharing the good moments too. When I watch others showing up to hold space for those who face health issues, as I hear their stories, more often than not, they share with me that they have shared a lifetime of moments together. This dark space will be no different.
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