Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation, and conversation must have a common basis, and between two people of widely different culture the only common basis possible is the lowest level.
~Oscar Wilde
Relationships can be complicated, but the one thing that all successful relationships have in common is a strong connection between partners.
Building a strong connection with your partner can take time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Especially the being truly in love part.
Before I fell deeply, madly, truly in love with my amazing partner, I thought that the fairytale kind of love is a reserve for the main characters in movies or books.
I have since realized anyone can have the fairytale of love the media pushes out all too often. But not without some work at strengthening the connection with their partner.
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Here are seven incredible ways to build a stronger connection with your partner.
1. Effective Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship.
It is essential to be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Effective communication involves active listening, understanding your partner’s perspective, and being willing to compromise.
When both partners are committed to open communication, it builds trust and creates a strong foundation for the relationship.
According to Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, as long as a couple can communicate effectively, openly, and honestly, the relationship is destined to succeed.
What you can do:
One way to improve communication is by setting aside dedicated time to talk and listen to each other.
It can be a weekly check-in or a daily routine where you share your thoughts and feelings with each other.
This time should be uninterrupted and free from distractions, so you can focus solely on each other.
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2. Prioritize Quality Time Together
One of the most important aspects of building a strong connection with your partner is spending quality time together.
In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to take your partner for granted and put them on the back burner as you respond to emails, social media messages, phone calls, you name it.
Pause.
It is not just about spending time together but being present in the moment and enjoying each other’s company without distractions from phones, work, or other commitments..
Quality time can be as simple as cooking a meal together, taking a walk, or watching a movie. The key is to focus on each other and create memories that strengthen your bond.
In addition to spending quality time together, it is also important to communicate effectively during that time. Take the time to really listen to your partner, express your own thoughts and feelings, and practice empathy and understanding.
What you can do:
Make time to do things together that you both enjoy, whether it’s going for a walk, trying a new hobby, or simply cuddling on the couch. It’s important to prioritize quality time in your relationship and make it a regular part of your routine.
Another way to build quality time is by exploring new activities together. Trying something new, like a dance class or a hiking trip, can bring excitement and adventure to your relationship.
These shared experiences can create a deeper connection and improve communication between you and your partner.
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3. Build Trust
Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship.
7 Reasons Trust Is The Most Important Element of Relationships, Backed By Philosophy
To be trusted in love is a greater compliment than being loved.
medium.com
It is essential to trust your partner and feel secure in the relationship. Building trust requires honesty, consistency, and dependability.
Trust can be strengthened by keeping your promises, being reliable, and being transparent with each other.
What you can do:
One way to build trust is by sharing your vulnerabilities with your partner.
This can be challenging, but it shows your partner that you trust them enough to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
This vulnerability can create a deeper connection and build a stronger bond.
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4. Touch Each Other
Physical touch is an essential part of building a strong connection with your partner.
It releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin, which can increase feelings of closeness and intimacy according to Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377.
Physical touch can be as simple as holding hands, cuddling, or hugging. The key is to find ways to incorporate physical touch into your daily routine.
What you can do:
Touch each other as often as you can — hold hands, show affection through touch, hug, and allow your body parts to interact. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your desires and boundaries.
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5. Have Shared Goals
Shared goals can bring partners closer together and create a sense of unity.
It is essential to have shared goals that align with each other’s values and priorities. These goals can be big or small, but they should be meaningful to both partners.
What you can do:
One way to build shared goals is by discussing your future together.
This can involve talking about marriage, children, or where you see yourself in five or ten years.
These discussions can create a shared vision and strengthen your bond.
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6. Cultivate An Attitude of Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is an essential part of building a strong connection with your partner.
It is important to acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s contributions to the relationship.
Gratitude can be expressed through words, actions, or small gestures like a surprise gift or a note.
What you can do:
Build gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in the negatives and what is not working, but taking the time to reflect on what’s going well can help increase feelings of gratitude and positivity.
One practice that can help cultivate gratitude in your relationship is to make a daily or weekly gratitude list according to Shaver, P. R., & Mikulincer, M. (2005). Attachment theory and research: Resurrection of the psychodynamic approach to personality. Journal of Research in Personality, 39(1), 22–45.
Write down three things that you appreciate about your partner and your relationship. This can help shift your focus to the positive aspects of your relationship and help you appreciate your partner even more.
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Final Thoughts
Building a strong connection with your partner takes time and effort, but it is always so worth it. B
y prioritizing communication, vulnerability, trust, respect, affection, gratitude, and quality time, you can build a deep and meaningful connection with your partner that will strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for building a strong connection with your partner.
Every relationship is unique and requires different approaches.
The key is to be open to trying new things, communicating openly and honestly, and putting in the effort to prioritize your relationship.
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And Now Your Thoughts
Tell me about your experience building a stronger connection with your partner in the comments section.
Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Randy Kinne on Unsplash
