Smile

I leaned back comfortably in my seat on the 737-airline headed back to LAX from Denver International Airport. I smiled. I was relieved that there was only rain in Denver, no snowstorm. No delays. No cancelled flight.

The day before, I was in an offsite meeting for work. United Airlines texted that my flight back home could be delayed, possibly be cancelled due to the snowstorm moving through Colorado. Immediately, I thought, “Oh, fuck.” Then I thought, “Okay, I’ll just wait it out.” What the late Mizukami Sensei taught me in Aikido over the years. That wasn’t just for the Dojo.

Overnight, it just rained in Denver. It snowed in other parts of Colorado. I got to Denver International Airport in the pouring rain with time to spare.

Sitting in my aisle seat, a cute 4-year-old boy cried as he paced down the 737 passenger aisle with his family. Apparently, he was having a bad day. I smiled and waved my hand. The little boy looked up at me and smiled back.

The boy sat in the aisle behind on the opposite side of the airplane with his grandmother. He joyfully entertained himself watching movies on his iPad. He was good.

Did smiling make that little boy happy? Maybe. He lightened up smiling back. Perhaps that made a difference in some way. What if we smile even when things suck? When things go completely sideways? Just asking.

In Aikido practice, Ishibashi Sensei asked, “What are you doing?” I was practicing iriminage (clothesline to the head) for the attacker grabbing my wrist. I had my angry face when I threw the attacker. Sensei said, “Everything quiet.” I don’t defend against the attack. I invite the attack. I bring the attacker to my center. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. The attacker and attack don’t matter. There’s no need for my angry face.

I smiled, “Yeah, I need to smile in the attack.” Sensei smiled back, “Yes.” I enter the danger, enter what I fear. I get under the attack. That’s the safest place to be. I choose who I am, what I do. I work on myself, not on others.

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The 250-pound man comes to grab my wrist, trying to punch me with his other hand. I wait it out. I invite the attack. I let him grab my hand, keeping him in my center (ki). I match the attack in my attack. I apply nikkyo (wristlock) to myself that occurs as iriminage on the attacker. I choose to let the attacker pass or to end the attack. The attacker chooses to take the fall or to stand down.

In the attack, I empty my mind. Mushin. I don’t look at the attacker. It’s me against me. I overcome myself. I can smile. Life’s too short to get angry at anything, even when someone attacks me. Besides, anger only makes things worse. I would know. Just saying.

I enter the danger. I do what’s uncomfortable. I do what’s meaningful to me. I smile.

Ishibashi Sensei reminds me to smile, all the time. In the bigger picture, it’s only me against me. Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I’m my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. I work on myself, not on others.

Whether I ask a woman I like so much to see Top Gun Maverick or drive to the airport in the pouring rain to catch my flight home, I smile. I control the things that I can, which asymptotically approaches zero. For the things that I have no control over, I smile. At least, I practice that. In the bigger picture, I’m as authentic as I can be, the best that I can be. That’s all I can do. Smile. Just saying.