Solitude in the Crowd

“We are all in a crowd and in solitude at the same time,” said Zygmunt Bauman. A seemingly contradictory phrase that elucidates modern relationships.

In an increasingly connected world, it is strange to find such immense solitude shaping us. From this paradox, Bauman drew his emblematic phrase, as he was attentive to the relationship between these two factors. The great advances that technological development has allowed, especially in terms of information technologies, are indisputable. However, it is necessary, as the Polish sociologist did, to be attentive to the problems brought about and/or potentiated by technological development.

For him, the great attraction of relationships developed in the virtual environment, the “Facebook friendships”, lies in the ease of disconnecting that they possess, dispensing with all the wear and tear that a concrete relationship demands. In fact, the internet allows friendships to be built and deconstructed with a click, however, this is not a fact that is limited to the internet, and can easily be applied to “concrete” relationships. In this way, Facebook and all the technological paraphernalia developed “only” potentiated the existing difficulty in us to create bonds.

Although it is not the root cause, information technologies do not lose their problematic and contradictory character perceived by Bauman, since being contributions created to promote connection, it is contradictory how their own structures encourage disconnection between people. But, again, this only happens due to our formation as individuals, being, therefore, the biggest (or real) problem the human being and not the machine.

Thus, the problem should be seen as a two-way street, since the virtual world and the real world are interconnected, and the connecting piece is the human being, so that if there are conditions for greater closeness between people, whether between people who know each other in the real world (because many of our contacts in the “online” world also exist in the “offline” world), or between people who relate “only” virtually, and this, truly, does not occur, the epicenter of the problem is not in the means of communication, but in those who sustain, or try to sustain, these means, including eye contact.

The point is that we are not willing to put effort into any relationship, we do not want to wait for the preparation time, we do not want to sow, and, in this way, we quickly adapt to “Facebook relationships”, as well as, we start to “share” our virtual experience in the physical realm. This happens because by not being willing to engage in a relationship, we end up not being able to truly connect with someone and, consequently, share emotions, feelings, joys, sufferings, which is what allows a true relationship to be created.

Therefore, it matters little if the relationship exists in the concrete world, it is as liquid as the friendship that was just made with someone you barely know on a social network. The problem, therefore, is not the medium in which the relationship was developed, but rather the medium in which it is sustained, if there is an exchange of affection, of words, if there is openness for anything to be said, for confessions to be made.

This is what defines a relationship, the way the people who relate behave towards it, how they make it to be nourished. However, we do not act this way and, consequently, we have such fragile relationships that they do not have any capacity to remove us from solitude, although social networks appear to have the great connectivity that we possess. At this point lies another element of highlight and interest of virtual relationships, the makeup that it promotes in our solitude, demonstrating, apparently, a false idea of network. However, like all makeup, it comes off with water… or with tears, revealing the solitude that never ceased to exist.

Therefore, solitude has not ceased to exist because we have thousands of friends on Facebook or because we can talk to a giant number of people through WhatsApp. Solitude has not ceased to exist because we are still (and it seems that we are “evolving” in this) “unable” to connect with another person and, then, experience the beauty of plurality.

Contrary to solitude, crowds are increasing, with their “capacity” to deceive, fantasizing fragile relationships with masks of connectivity. Although problematic, there is little discomfort, because the crowds, as I said, only grow. Online crowds full of offline solitudes, bodies close with distant souls, a world full of paradoxes, of close distances, of men who, even being in the crowd, feel alone. Only a seemingly contradictory answer to clarify a lie with the appearance of truth.

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Thanks for reading my article! Join my email list for exclusive spiritual insights from my soul to yours. Images kindly created for Lost in My Soul by Filipa Kinomoto with Midjourney.

Light and Love from my Soul to Yours! 🤍

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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