When we have experienced trauma in the past, it can be easy to want to run away from it or ignore it. It doesn’t feel good to have to look at the pain head on. We might want to move forward and away from the past, but the past exists and persists within us whether or not we want it to.
When we see trigger warnings and we want to look the other way, we might actually be doing ourselves a disservice by hiding from pain that is very real.
Sometimes in order to survive, make a living, and get our needs met, we do need to keep away from the pain. But, if we hide from it for too long, it’s only going to resurface in some form, whether that is physically, mentally, or emotionally, in the future.
Personally, I love being triggered. It shows me what I still need to work on letting go of within my own psyche. I went out to a bar last night, one in which I had run into a significant ex in the past. Being there triggered some wounds about that relationship I didn’t even know were still present — abandonment wounds that were still impacting me and still impact the types of men I tend to attract.
When we allow ourselves to sit with the pain, to let it flow through us, to cry if we need to, to let it out in some form, we can no longer be triggered by it. Facing the truth of the reality of the pain is difficult but it is much more healing and enlightening than running away from it.
As I said, had I not allowed myself to be triggered, had I just stayed away from that bar, I wouldn’t have understood that some pain from that relationship was still lingering within me. It felt uncomfortable to be there, and I didn’t need to stay long to understand the pain that was still inside of me, but it was enough to just let myself be triggered by it. Once I let it flow through me, there was a sense of emotional release that I would not have been able to attain had I just been avoidant. We don’t want to linger in the pain, as there is a fine line between being stuck in the past and embracing it, but if we want to ultimately be happy in a lasting sort of way, we have to be willing to face pain.
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Previously published on “Change Becomes You”, a Medium publication.
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