SSU: Short, Skinny, and Ugly

Short, skinny, and ugly was exactly how I felt and looked throughout my years in high school. I never thought about my looks until my second year in high school, I knew initially I wasn’t as pretty but I never considered myself as ugly, I knew I wasn’t close to being tall or thick but I used to think I was perfect, daddy’s little princess.

But entering my senior year in high school, everyone looked all grownup, boobs appeared from nowhere, my friends had curvy hips and protruding ass while I was nowhere close to developing boobs, I was still struggling to leave the pointy nipple stage, it made my senior year well depressing.

I felt completely out of place with everyone in school and to make things worse no boy ever looked my way, why would they? I was short, skinny, and ugly.

My self-esteem and confidence reduced to level zero, I felt so down that I began to drop academically, I hardly took pictures of myself and if by accident I did it never left my gallery, I was ashamed of how I looked.

In my final year in high school, I was still on the SSU committee, but even though finally I had passed the pointy nipple stage and actually developed some kind of boobs I still couldn’t raise my head high. So, I promised myself I would add up before venturing into university, my perfect body mentality was thick, curvy, if had that I could achieve anything.

So what did I do? I spent my holiday eating more calories, excess snacks and sugary filled food, at first it was working out well, then the acne broke out due to some snacks I was taking, soon I started feeling a little bit shapeless, my tiny waist was gone, my stomach was protruding more than my hips were. It was hectic.

Then I changed my tactic, I would concentrate on my skin whilst my body gradually reduces to a certain level but guess what? I went back to being skinny, and I felt all my effort go I went mute.

I shut down completely, I seldom ate or slept, I hardly left the house- because I was too ashamed and whenever my mum forced me, I felt like everyone was staring or talking about me and it made me sick of myself.

Eventually, I fell sick, or rather I passed out one morning while doing my chores. I was rushed to the hospital and we found out my blood pressure, my PCV (packed cell volume) everything in my body was low, the only heightened thing was the ulcer I had developed.

After this experience, I began to do research on the low PCV issue and according to labtestsonline, the packed cell volume (PCV), is a measurement of the proportion of blood that is made up of cells. And from this research I found myself reading other people’s experience on their body, I found out the skinny wanted to add up and the thick wanted to slim down.

With more research, I saw skinnier people who had confidently made it and obese people who had as well done absolutely well with self-esteem and confidence. After my near-death experience and the research that came after I realized looks do not define who you are or where you’re headed your action does.

Who even brought up the idea that skinny is the real perfect or thick is the perfect type of sexy? Who differentiated between ugly and beautiful? Who told us this is how an ugly person is supposed to look like? No one did.

Therefore no one has the right to define an ugly person.

Building self-confidence

Because my self-confidence/esteem had been brought down to well level zero I knew that if I wanted to achieve any of my dreams I had to work on it. I needed to get my self-confidence of the chart.

According to Wikipedia, confidence comes from the Latin word fidere which means to trust, therefore having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self. You might not see a big deal in low self-confidence but trust me it’s a big deal because low self-confidence equals the inability to acquire the respect you deserve from other i.e low self-worth.

Adding to that, self-confidence is beneficial because with your self-confidence at its peak you know you are perfect and you can achieve all that you want. Therefore, the issue of fear and anxiety would reduce drastically while joy and peace of mind would heighten in your life.

So, how do you boost up your self-confidence? Allow me to be of assistance with that.

You are your priority

If you follow up my articles you would realize I put emphasis on being your priority, taking care of yourself, finding yourself, I always do this because I know how important you are. So never make someone else your priority, that spot belongs to you.

Now eat well, have enough sleep, work out if you aren’t as lazy, have enough fun, work hard to achieve your dreams.

Self-critic

While trying to boost up my confidence, I used to think what if people say this or that and it had an effect on my progress. So decided that instead of thinking of what others would say or think, I’d pay more attention to what I think.

An example, let’s say I decide to wear sandals instead of heels to a prestigious occasion, now unlike before when I would think of the things people would say I decided to criticize and correct myself, well sandals are quite comfortable but for an occasion like this, I think it would be smart to look prestigious.

Become your self-hype man

Well, when my self-confidence was at the lowest I used to feed off of people’s compliments and praises, which was the only thing that made me feel good and that is wrong.

I’m not saying don’t feel good when others praise or compliment you, I’m saying do not let only their compliments make you feel good about yourself, because if you do what would happen when they stop.

I was at an award-giving ceremony and they called out a friend of mine as the best dressed at the event and before everyone began clapping for him he clapped for himself. And when he was asked why he said;

“When the agama lizard jumps from a high place and makes the perfect landing he congratulates himself by nodding not minding if any other person does”

So ladies and gentlemen if an animal is his own personal hype man what is stopping you from being yours?

Overcoming your fears

Now, this is a game booster, if you learn to overcome your fear, trust me your confidence level would be off the chart because this would make you feel good about yourself.

I used to be extremely scared of heights, so what did I do? Every Saturday I would go climbing, at first I wanted to give up but I knew what I wanted to achieve so I didn’t. I took climbing one step at a time and today I wouldn’t say I’m the best at it but I’m good and that boosted the confidence I had for myself.

Take this booster one step at a time, pick something you fear, and promise yourself that you would overcome it.

Ignore nasty talks

People will always talk, whether you’re doing good or bad, whether you’re tall or short, fat or skinny, people always have what to say, an opinion to air out, a nasty remark to drop.

The advice here is to not always react, sometimes ignore what they say because most times people who talk are people with lower self-confidence. They try to make themselves feel good by destroying others with their words and this tactic is so wrong. Other times people just want a reaction so do not give them what they want, just ignore.

And when you do this you begin to realize that they and what they have to say doesn’t even matter.

Be good to others

Follow this saying,

Do unto others what you want them to do to you.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Being good pays a lot, not money or gifts but it helps you feel good about yourself.

Have you ever given money to a beggar and get to see the smile on his or her face? Trust me it is divine and it gives a sense of self-love and importance which helps in building your confidence.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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