Statistics May Be Against Us but Our Relationship Is Thriving

My husband and I have been together for ten years. We began dating during our last year of high school.

We were in a long-distance relationship for five years while we went to separate universities.

We’ve been living together for four years but he is away a lot as a military officer.

We got married a year ago.

You would not believe the number of people who have told us over the years that our relationship was doomed.

High school sweethearts

Most people believe that marrying your high school sweetheart almost always leads to divorce.

The rate of divorce among high school sweethearts could be as high as 54% compared with 32% for the average couple.

Taken on face value that does seem to be an argument against marrying the person you started dating in high school.

However, these statistics are much more complex and do not apply to every couple.

The true statistic is that 54% of marriages between high school sweethearts who got married while they were still teenagers will last more than 10 years.

That is a very different story.

A number of other things influence these statistics such as the number of children the couple has, whether or not they went to college, where they live, etc.

Long-distance relationship

Another commonly held belief is that long-distance relationships are doomed. Watch any movie or TV show for proof.

My husband and I technically had everything working against us. After dating for less than a year in high school, we found ourselves in a long-distance relationship for five years.

While we cared tremendously about our relationship, we were both ambitious and chose not to let distance influence what Universities we wanted to go to.

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Statistics show that 40% of long-distance relationships fail.

However, once again, it depends on the relationship. It depends on the distance and how often you see each other. It depends on how much you are willing to work on your relationship and learn how to communicate effectively.

Being in a long-distance relationship can also have benefits. You learn to become more independent. You also learn to appreciate the time you spend with your person more.

Military spouse

Finally, my husband is in the military. And a lot of people believe that many relationships do not survive that lifestyle.

It does impose challenges on a relationship. My husband is away often. We have to move to a new city every few years. We are often away from our families, friends and support systems.

However, statistics show that military couples are not necessarily more likely to get divorced than civilian couples.

Once again, it is more complicated than it seems and a lot of different factors come into play such as the age of the spouses, the rank of the military member, whether the military member is a man or a woman, etc.

Moreover, the challenges imposed by the military can strengthen the bond with your partner. It can lead to personal growth. It is not all negative.

…

Overall, statistics are not always the whole story, especially when it comes to relationships.

On paper, it seems like there are a number of things playing against me and my husband. And yet, ten years later, our relationship is still thriving.

Sometimes, relationships that seem perfect, that have everything going for them, do not work out.

You can’t reduce people to numbers.

And you definitely can’t tell them that their relationship is doomed.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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