Stop Attaching Your Self-Worth to Social Status

Beautiful things of any kind are beautiful in themselves and sufficient to themselves. Praise is extraneous. The object of praise remains what it was — no better and no worse. -Marcus Aurelius

You did the good deed, why do you seek an extra thing on top, credit for the deed? Like everything in life, fame too is ephemeral, precarious, and doesn’t last forever. What good is the addictive praise of a bunch of strangers that never would’ve known you anyway, and will have a misconstrued idea of who you were after your demise.

Fame presents immense risks to your mental health and well-being, it’s the most addictive drug that exists, and could entirely alter your psychological health as you could develop a psychological dependence on it, like any other drug. Besides the other obvious downsides, privacy loss, immense scrutiny, and criticism. Attaching one’s sense of self to the approval, validation, and recognition of countless strangers is a fool’s game. Chasing fame for its own sake is like personifying Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, and watching it tumble down for all of eternity. Absurdity at its finest, pointless, insignificant, and one of the worst decisions one could make.

Focusing on making an impact with one’s work is all that matters. The impact it has made, the hearts it’s touched, the knowledge it advanced is enough. Credit, and fame, are extraneous and shouldn’t matter. Let alone be pursued for its own sake. It’s nothing but a slugdy byproduct, excrement of work done in the public domain, and to put it politely, you don’t eat excrement, do you? The fact you contributed, made an impact with the work is a reward, fulfilling in of itself. Fulfillment and bliss shouldn’t come from the guy who made the work. And was praised for it. By contributing to the greater good, one derives a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life. Independent of external praise or recognition.

The pursuit of fame and external recognition is not a source of true fulfillment or lasting happiness. It’s fleeting, and subject to the slippery whims of public opinion. Dependent on circumstances beyond one’s control. Externals such as money and fame are transient and ultimately insignificant in comparison to cultivation of one’s character. Excessive attachment to fame- the opinions of others lead to vanity, arrogance, and a harshly distorted sense of self. By attaching their self-worth, or focusing in their pursuits on the opinions and judgments of others, one becomes vulnerable to the fleeting nature of public favor. Leading to an insatiable, constant need for validation and external recognition.

Having absolutely zero control over what’s written about you online, being debated and scrutinized by countless strangers, outright insulted and criticized, is extremely uncomfortable. It’s a lifestyle I don’t wish upon anyone. Your fans and admirers may defend your honor, should be acknowledged and appreciated, but the feeling of eyes on you won’t be so easily shaken off.

If fame does indeed come as a byproduct, then so be it. But you shouldn’t trade your entire livelihood, relationships, or well-being by attaching yourself to it. It doesn’t define you, it’s not you, it’s a caricature of a hand-crafted translucent masquerade. They don’t hate you, or think those nasty things about you, but the facade you’ve displayed. And even then, their words don’t reflect off of that facade, but them.

True happiness and fulfillment aren’t for fame’s sake. It comes from a commitment to serving the greater good in your pursuits, independent of the need for external recognition and validation. Otherwise the pursuit of fame can become an endless cycle that fails to bring lasting satisfaction. Through the cultivation of inner tranquility, self-love, respect, and a sense of self not dependent upon the precarious nature of fame, but rather who we truly are; we can find a sense of purpose and meaning above the transient nature of fame.

By finding contentment in who we are, and the choices we make, we can unshackle ourselves from the chains of that cage we’re societally inclined to, as bait to the ferocious beast with indefatigable hunger that is fame -external validation. And truly lead more fulfilling, blissful lives. While making meaningful, important, and impactful contributions to the human race.

Thanks for reading

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.