An estimated 45% of people in the UK have some experience with addiction, either their own or that of a loved one. It is a storm that rages silently in the hearts of so many. It tears apart lives, families and dreams leaving only devastation in its wake. Often — the most destructive part is not the substance itself- it is the stigma that surrounds it.
Still, the stigma surrounding addiction continues. The media doesn’t help. It portrays alcoholics as people stumbling home from the bar and beating their partners when often the reality is a struggling mother pouring a glass of wine to prevent her tremors from beginning.
It portrays those addicted to drugs as shooting up next to train tracks when the reality may be the person next to you in the store buying codeine tablets as they are the only thing that will stop their widespread body pain.
This false portrayal is a cruel barrier between those in need and the help they desperately deserve. The fear of being labelled causes people to fall into the shadows, hiding their problems and falling further down the slippery slope of addiction.
Throughout my childhood, no one knew of my father’s addiction except those who lived in our household. It was deemed shameful, embarrassing even. The fear of the negative stigma affected not only him but us as his children. I was scared that people would think badly of the man I treasured so close to my heart. Not being able to talk to anyone about something that had such an impact on my life caused me to feel isolated. When things got worse I had nowhere to turn. Perhaps if there hadn’t been so much negative stigma, I would have been able to find support.
The burden of his secrecy took a heavy toll. Years were spent hiding his addiction, too ashamed to let anyone see how much he was struggling. If there was no stigma, he may have felt safe enough to talk about his pain, his guilt, his mental health and the reasons he found comfort at the bottom of the bottle in the first place. If he had been given that chance maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t have lost 20 years to alcohol.
…
From a single glance at someone, you cannot know the path their life has taken. You cannot know the struggles they faced. You do not know the trauma they have experienced.
Some people face adversity that would be expected to break anyone. Their addiction may have started as their lifeline, helping them to hold on for one more day.
Nobody sets out to be an addict. It’s not like they wake up in the morning and think; “You know what would be fun today, to ruin my life with alcohol.”
It creeps up on people. The glass of wine they pour to decompress from a tough day at work transitions into pouring it to stop the shaking. The opiate tablet they started taking from the doctor due to an illness is needed to stop the sweats. The benzos they took to slow down their racing thoughts are causing seizures when they try to stop.
In my current role within addictions, we recommend an extremely slow reduction. I’ve seen withdrawal seizures. I’ve seen seizures cause cardiac arrests. It is not as simple as ‘just stopping’ and often people need professional help to stop using substances. Would you want to ask the same people you fear are going to look down on you and judge you for help?
Addiction is not a moral failing. It is not a lack of character or a sign of weakness. It is a complex and often misunderstood condition, born from a mixture of genetic, psychological and environmental factors. Yet, society has often painted it with a broad and unforgiving brush — branding those who struggle as less than others, as outcasts, as failures.
To break the stigma, we must change the way we all talk about addiction. We must educate ourselves and each other about the truth of its nature. If we can replace judgment with empathy, shame with support and ignorance with understanding then we are already on the path to winning the battle.
By breaking the stigma we can offer people a lifeline. They are given space to heal and step out of the shadows into the light of recovery. We can create a world where people are praised for seeking help rather than judging them for their lowest moments.
…
I talk about my father a lot when it comes to addiction. He was one of the lucky ones. He reached sobriety and continues on his daily battle to maintain it. For so many, this is not the case.
My grandpa was one of them. I met him when I was 2, not that I remember. From the stories I have been told he was beloved by all and loved all. He had the same addiction that plagued my father. His story was not one of hope and healing, instead, it was filled with silence and suffering.
Maybe without the negative stigma, he would have had the ability to see addiction for what it truly is — a disease. Maybe instead of feeling that he had to hide from it, he could have sought treatment earlier. He could have learned that it is okay to show vulnerability and ask for help.
If society had allowed him to be viewed as someone deserving of care rather than someone to be scorned he might have felt worthy of recovery. He could have found comfort in knowing that he was never alone — many others were walking the same path as he was and it was not something to be ashamed of. Maybe we would have more time together, filled with laughter and love rather than spent in the shadow of his struggle.
We didn’t get that chance, liver failure took him first. He was only 48.
Addiction is a human issue, not a moral one.
As a society we should value healing over judgment, we should see the person behind the addiction. Every life is worth fighting for, and no one should have to fight alone.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash
