Whether you’re a diehard sports fan, or you die hard watching sports, there’s something for everyone in this guide to winning on Super Bowl Sunday
There is nothing worse than going to a party and being a complete and total outcast. Have you ever been to a gala, only to realize it was a costume party? Did you ever show up to an event, only to find you are completely over/underdressed?
Twenty million Americans will attend a Super Bowl party this Sunday.
The person hosting said party has been, on average, planning this shindig for 41 days. You owe it to yourself and those you love to be 100 percent prepared for Super Bowl Sunday.
You want to impress the casual fan? I got you covered.
You want to impress the sports fanatic? You’ve come to the right place.
You want to impress the person there for the commercials? Waaazzzzaahhhhpp?
This is your one stop shop for Super Bowl Sunday.
Four Frequently Asked Questions:
1. What is Deflate-Gate?
In the AFC Championship Game between the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots, the league discovered the Patriots footballs were 2 pounds less than the mandatory league PSI limit. While many will have you believe this is a big deal. It isn’t. If you happen to bump into an ardent Patriots hater, tell them this. When New England used the deflated balls, the score was 17-7. When they used PSI-regulated balls they outscored the Colts 28 to zip. Also, Bill Belichick referenced Mona Lisa Vito from My Cousin Vinny, which is awesome.
2. Why isn’t the day after the Super Bowl a holiday?
Really good question with no real answer. All the statistics point to a lack of productivity the Monday after the Super Bowl. According to Herald Mail Media, 1.5 million people will call in sick for the Super Bowl, with another 4.4 million showing up late. In fact, the week leading up to the Super Bowl witnesses a $1.28 billion drop in productivity.
That’s a lot of moolah.
3. Why should I care about the Super Bowl?
Why do you care about what Jennifer Anniston wore to the Golden Globes? Why do you care about what is in the Chicken McNugget? Some things this good don’t need an answer. There are only a few events that bring all Americans together to celebrate: New Year’s Eve, Independence Day, and the Super Bowl. And not in that order. Everyone will be talking about the Super Bowl this week and next week. Don’t be the one person who is at their desk twiddling their thumbs while everyone else is at the water cooler talking about that amazing game/commercial/party/guacamole. I repeat. Do Not Be That Person.
4. What are 12s? Is that even a word?
In Seattle (and some would say College Station, TX) 12s is not a word, it is a way of life.
In football, there are only 11 players per team that are allowed to play at a given time. The 12th man is The Fan. Seattle has earned a reputation for being the most ardent fan base in the NFL. Last season, Seahawk jerseys with “FAN” on the nameplate and the No. 12 were the 10th best-selling jersey.
When you watch the Super Bowl, you’ll see a bunch of 12s represented in jerseys, flags and most importantly, people.
Six Factoids to Impress the Guy in the Retro Football Jersey:
1. Russell Wilson is the first quarterback to start two Super Bowls in his first three years in the NFL.
2. Tom Brady is starting his sixth Super Bowl, the most ever by a quarterback. If he wins, he’ll tie the record for most Super Bowl wins by a signal caller.
3. The last time New England played in Arizona for the Super Bowl, they were playing for history. The Patriots were 18-0 and a David Tyree Helmet Catch away from becoming the first team to go 19-0. In fact, don’t tell this to the guy in the Patriots Jersey, he’ll either fight you, cry or both.
4. Seattle is trying to be the first team to repeat as Super Bowl champions since the New England Patriots did it in 2003-2004.
5. Russell Wilson is the 53rd highest paid passer in the NFL; he’s last on his own team. Three-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady is 12th, behind such luminaries like Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and St. Louis Rams signal caller Sam Bradford. That will blow anyone’s mind.
6. Both head coaches, Pete Carroll and Bill Belichick share more than their love for football. Carroll was Belichick’s predecessor as the New England head man. Also, Carroll and Belichick were head coaches for the New York Jets, even if Belichick’s stint was only for one day.
Five random facts for the casual fan
1. This is Super Bowl 49. So far the coin flip has gone 24 for tails and 24 for heads. Mathematicians unite!
2. Last year, a record $119.4 million were bet legally. LEGALLY. Vegas made almost $20 million. In the Super Bowl’s 48-year history, only twice has the house lost. Please bet responsibly.
3. Having said that, you can bet on almost anything at the Super Bowl: the Gatorade color of the winning team being my favorite.
4. The only team to beat both Seattle and New England this year? The Kansas City Chiefs.
5. Super Bowl Sunday is the second biggest day of food consumption in the U.S. after Thanksgiving.
The National Chicken Council projects 1.25 billion chicken wings will be consumed on Sunday. Numbers from the Snack Food Association include 11.2 million pounds of potato chips, 8.2 million pounds of tortilla chips and 3.8 million pounds of popcorn.
Five tidbits for the commercial consumers, AKA, I’m just here for the party
1. NBC set 30-second ad rates at $4.5 million for the game, $500,000 above last year’s record and up four-fold from 20 years ago. NBC will generate roughly $350 million from ads.
2. Get that blue box ready! The Vince Lombardi Trophy, handed out to the Super Bowl winning team is made by Tiffany.
3. Win or lose, Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker agreed to donate Boston cream pie cupcakes from the Koffee Kup Bakery in Springfield, Massachusetts, to a Washington state food pantry.
New Hampshire Governor Maggie Hassan and the North Country Smokehouse in Claremont, New Hampshire, will donate New Hampshire bacon, win or lose. Washington Governor Jay Inslee and Seattle-based Ivar’s Chowder will donate 1,000 cups of clam chowder to food pantries in both Massachusetts and New Hampshire.
So it’s not really a wager, but hey cupcakes, bacon and chowder, that’s a win.
4. According to Domino’s Pizza, delivery drivers will travel 4 million miles on Sunday.
5. The Wickedly talented Idina Menzel will sing the national anthem.
You might remember her from Wicked. You might recall her voice from the billions of times a young child has sung along to Frozen’s “Let It Go”. You all can recall John Travolta’s bungling of Menzel’s name that spawned the best widget ever. In fact, you want to spice up that party, Travoltify your name and have everyone refer to each other by their pseudonym.
Randomness that may or may not be true
• 325 million gallons of beer will be consumed during the game; 84 million gallons will be spilled.
• If you go to a party, there will be one drunk who threatens the jolliness of your party, one guest who everyone wonders why they are there and 95% of the time; it will be the same person.
• If you choose to stay at home and watch the game from the comfort of your couch, fabricated statistics show that 73% will fall asleep at least once during the game.
• Katy Perry’s performance will be the most ignored halftime show since the University of Arizona performed at halftime of Super Bowl I. This is not to rebuke Katy Perry, marching bands or the University. Arizona’s preeminent university is one of the finest establishments for higher learning. (Editor’s note: In full disclosure, the author of this piece is an alumnus of the University of Arizona)
• One person watching the game will look at his/her watch constantly and wonder internally and externally, how long is this game? Can we just get to Blacklist already? (Airing on NBC directly after the game)
• If you show up empty-handed to a Super Bowl party, people will whisper bad things about you behind your back.
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and the Super Bowl
Kevin Bacon was in the movie Footloose, one of the greatest American treasures of our time and space. (Do NOT bring up the remake of Footloose. IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!)
But I digress; (1) Kevin Bacon was in Footloose. (2) Chris Penn was in Footloose. Penn was in Reservoir Dogs (3) Harvey Keitel was in Reservoir Dogs. Keitel also was in Rising Sun (4) Wesley Snipes was in Rising Sun. Snipes was in White Men Can’t Jump (5) Woody Harrelson was in White Men Can’t Jump. Harrelson was in Cheers (6) Kelsey Grammer played Dr. Frasier Crane in Cheers, which takes place in Boston, regional home of the New England Patriots. Frasier moves to Seattle, home of the Seahawks.
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and the Super Bowl…crushed.
The only fact you need to know is that 20 million people attend a Super Bowl party out of an estimated 150+ million who will watch some portion of the game.
Whether your party is at home, a friend, family or acquaintance, enjoy it. Because wherever you go, there you are. And it’s a long way to the 4th of July.