TASK 21: TALKIN’ SHOP
This week has been a bitch, both professionally and personally. First, I got promoted at work. I was a manager, now I’m a director. Not a director like in Hollywood, but a director like in the rest of America, where director means you get a bit more money and a shitload of new responsibilities. I sensed that my boss was actually snickering when she told me about it; as soon as I left her office I could hear her laughing, as in “the dumbass thinks it’s a good thing…” Haha. I’m still in the same cubicle too, and though I assume that they’ll give me a new title card to slip into the plastic frame that is pinned to the little bitty privacy wall that separates me from the guy across from me who, by the way, coughs incessantly and eats tibouli salads–every day…
And the Cavs are in the NBA Finals but I don’t think they can win. I hate Golden State but if you’re going to be realistic and you don’t do copious amounts of meth which, from what I hear, makes your teeth fall out and scrambles your brain in such a way that you can’t see that Golden State is simply a better team. It’s no shame to lose the NBA Finals but it sucks when The Tribe is basically a .500 team, the Browns are inept, and it’s still 80 plus days until the Buckeyes start kicking ass.
I need to be uplifted. My wife, when she needs to feel better, she shops… So I decided to try it.
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And politics depresses me. I can’t imagine what could go wrong when Trump sits down with the nut from North Korea…and by the way, who has the worse hair style?
I need to be uplifted. My wife, when she needs to feel better, she shops. It doesn’t matter what she buys, either. It can be groceries, clothes, or deoderant at the CVS, but it makes her feel better.
So I decided to try it. I got some cash from the ATM and drove to the mall. Malls are lame, and I felt lame, so I left the mall. I ended up downtown. There was a place that sells and repairs vacuum cleaners, I shit you not, next to a Thai massage, which was next to place where kids go to have themed birthday parties, and next to that was a pawn shop. I went in and looked around.
I bought I banjo. I have ALWAYS wanted a banjo. I brought it home. The wife scowled, the kids looked at me like I had brought home…a banjo, but I didn’t care. Now I sit out in the garage with the door closed and strum on it, and I’m trying to learn chords on YouTube.
TASK
Buy yourself something. Something that you want. And it doesn’t have to be practical.
Rules:
–You have to GO shopping.You can’t buy something on-line.
–You can only spend as much money as your wife would let you take to Vegas.(The banjo cost me $75).
–Don’t run out and buy the first thing you see. Enjoy the experience.
–Go by yourself.
–And remember, it doesn’t have to be practical. I need a new wallet. I need a new pair of pants because I’m a DIRECTOR now. I need spark plugs. I bought a banjo.
Good luck.
Photo by Hans Vivek on Unsplash