Last year I created a Twitter hashtag for writers called #TeamOptimism. It started out as a fun encouraging GIF to boost both my own and other writers’ spirits during a Twitter novel-pitching contest called #PitchWars, the brainchild of writer Brenda Drake.
I wasn’t always #TeamOptimism–in fact, I’d spiraled down a negativity hole for years. But my therapist suggested some cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, and changing my mind-set was one of them. The idea is that the brain is a muscle, too, and training it to think positive can lead to other happy thoughts. I thought it was new age BS, to be honest. Still, I gave it a try.
My world has changed. What started as a GIF here or there became an almost daily post. I found that not getting any “likes” during a pitch contest no longer bothered me. I spent more time cheering for others than worrying if I wasn’t where they were in my journey. My Twitter account blossomed to over 5,000 followers, the vast majority of whom are writers. I found a critique group who I now can’t I’ve only known for a year. And it bled over into real life as well.
I could focus on the positive aspects instead of only the negatives. I compare it to looking at a photograph, and instead of focusing on every blemish, puff, and pouch, I focus on the joyous smile or glint in the eyes.
This year, two weeks before Christmas, my mother shattered her femur. She’s 73, and has kicked the ass of breast cancer and 3 strokes. But a shattered femur meant she would be laid up for Christmas, and instead of going to her house in our jammies on Christmas morning, we’d have to visit her in the rehab/nursing home where she’s receiving physical therapy to be able to function at home. No early morning breakfast while she and my brother jostle for space in the kitchen (she makes the eggs, sausage, toast, and bacon, he makes his famous banana pancakes.) No huge tree with 64 years of memories on it, no light up sign outside that wishes my two brothers who have passed on “Merry Christmas Jason and Charlie. We miss you.”
It could have been the end of the season for me. I have three kids, and there would be a tree, and Christmas, at my house, but my heart would be lamenting the fact that I didn’t have my whole family around me. The year before last, I would have given up. But #TeamOptimism doesn’t let a little situational disturbance defeat them.
My brother showed up at my house early, breakfast items in tow. He and I worked the kitchen, and while it wasn’t as fabulous as my mother’s amazing breakfast, it was still delicious. My brother picked up my nieces and we drove to the rehab facility, where my mom (who is magical) had a bag for everyone with gifts inside. I gave her the book I’d picked out for her (Becoming by Michelle Obama), but more importantly, gave her the present she loves the most: all of her family under one roof.
Her room is small, and she shares it with a lovely roommate, who I feared would have a headache with five rowdy kids squished into such a tiny space. Old me would have just squished into the corner and dealt with it. But #TeamOptimism me hurried down to the nurse’s station. I cajoled them into letting my mother get into a wheelchair (she thought she wouldn’t be able to because the PT people were off for Christmas.)
We relocated to a large library, where we spread out and enjoyed a Christmas that wasn’t like our usual Christmas, but was at least a good time. After a good while, my mom, who tires easily, went back to her room for hugs and goodbyes. I took the kids back to the house, where we had a turkey and veggies. Not my mom’s Christmas dinner, and no desserts like she always has. But it wasn’t bad.
I’m not going to say it was a great Christmas. My mom is the cornerstone of our family. I missed her so much, and nothing is like “mom’s Christmas.” But in keeping with my new “brain training,” I’m going to focus on the positives. #TeamOptimism.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo Credit: Victoria_Borodinova on Pixabay
