So many are told from a young age that when they grow up, they will have children of their own. It is still common for parents to instill a traditionalist biological ideology in the minds of their offspring. They may be teaching them what they learned from their parents. Or, the parents could be telling those children at the earliest possible age that they expect to become grandparents.
Those children will grow up. They will want to make their own choices. Through the course of my writing about the childfree choice, I’ve met and corresponded with many who have been terrified to reveal to family that they are choosing against parenthood. A common question from these people is;
WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL MY PARENTS I’M NOT HAVING CHILDREN?
My response has always been carefully crafted to each individual I’m in correspondence with. The relationship they might have with their parents and family could be very close-knit. Something like this could cause a rift in the family circle. That rift could be permanent. With some people they have been the last of the last in the family. The last person who will have the name. The end of an era, so to speak. It really is no ones business but the individual. Some have been able to continue to live their life and not worry about ever responding.
The best suggested response that I could give is universal. If I could, I would give everyone some sort of broad stroke response that would guarantee a positive response from family and friends. It’s just not possible. All one can really do is respond within whatever their comfort zone is. If the reply from the family member is negative, then in my view it shows tremendous ignorance.
Hopefully any ignorance, will eventually turn to acceptance. Hopefully acceptance is immediate.
This post was previously published on www.dannalexander.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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