To fix your relationship issues
Unfortunately, most people believe marriage will magically solve all your relationship problems. Reality check? It will only escalate what already exists. Good becomes great, and bad becomes worse.
Marriage will do nothing if your relationship is not built on a strong foundation of support, understanding, trust, respect, and love.
Because you are scared to be alone
Being alone is hard but here’s why marriage is not the solution:
- insecurity: when you are insecure, you depend on external validation for happiness. The problem here is how you view yourself. You place a higher value on other people’s opinions of you than you do on your own. You believe that the people you are with affect how valuable you are. Just take a moment to consider how absurd that is.
- emotional dependence: being a little bit dependent on your partner can be natural, but when your enjoyment is based entirely on their emotions, things can become unhealthy and out of balance.
Work on becoming the person you want to be. Become healthy. Get serious about your career and monetize your passion. Organize your finances. Find someone eager to be with you since you already have such a powerful kick.
Because you want to prove something
- Perhaps your relatives are telling you that you are getting older, and you will lose market value if you do not make the decision now,
- you see marriage as a status symbol,
- you want to prove to your married buddies that you have options, too, and are valued.
Whatever it may be, getting married to satisfy someone’s needs or your own is a terrible reason, and it will lead you toward disastrous consequences. You should get married only when you love the other person and want to spend your life with them.
Because it’s useful
Marriage does have a lot of benefits. It makes legal sense. But if you are motivated to adopt and receive tax discounts, spouse visas, etc., you are setting yourself up for disaster in the long run. There’s nothing wrong with these perks, but they should not be your only reason to get married.
Marriage is hard work and will not succeed unless both partners are committed to making it work with one another. And the worst part is that once you enter the union of marriage due to its practicality, you end up in a situation where you are dependent on the benefits, but they lose their value because the stress and unhappiness of an unhealthy marriage is not worth it.
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Thanks for reading.
Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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