That’s not my process
[Today’s post is part of a new series of short parables about the creative life, chosen from my almost forty years as a creativity coach. Please enjoy! To be in touch, you can reach me at [email protected]. To subscribe to my Craft of Coaching weekly newsletter, please visit here.]
Jonathan had been working on a book for a while—about five years. He complained bitterly to anyone who would listen about his lack of progress. At the same time, he stood staunchly behind his process.
He had a sensible friend by the name of Monique. Usually, she refrained from offering Jonathan any advice. But on this hot summer day, she was feeling a little snippy and intolerant. Jonathan began telling her about his book woes.
“Why don’t you just write a chapter of the book?” Monique interrupted. “Wouldn’t that be a useful step?”
“That’s not my process,” Jonathan replied.
Monique shook her head. “Or maybe start at the beginning and actually start writing the book? You know, word one, word two, that sort of thing?”
“That’s not my process,” Jonathan replied.
“Well, forgive me, but your process, whatever that is, has not been working!”
“My process works for me,” Jonathan replied. “I feel deeply involved, I’m making excellent notes, and the book is getting richer every day.”
“But you aren’t actually writing it!”
“I am writing it. In my way.”
“Then what are you complaining about?”
“Well … that I’m not making enough progress.”
Monique felt like pulling out her hair. But she loved her hair too much.
“Your ‘process’ isn’t working for you,” she said with some finality.
“It is. I’m making progress.”
“You just said–”
“Just not enough progress.”
“Fine,” Monique said. “Have it your way.”
They set a date to meet in a couple of weeks. But at the last minute, Monique canceled. She just did not want to hear about Jonathan’s book and its lack of progress. They made a new date; and, this time, Monique felt obliged to show up. So, reluctantly, already in a foul mood, she did.
“How are you?” she asked, rather perfunctorily.
“I’m very well!” Jonathan beamed. “That organizational scheme that was bothering me, I’ve figured it out. Now I really know what the book’s about!”
“After five years,” Monique thought to herself, “Well, woo hoo.”
“That’s great,” she said. “Congratulations.”
“Yes!” Jonathan continued. “It’s very exciting. Now I can outline the book. Finally!”
“You’ve outlined the book five times already,” Monique couldn’t keep herself from saying.
“But never from this place of deep understanding.”
Monique shook her head. “Well, that’s really great to hear.”
Some months passed. Monique missed her friend, but she didn’t have the patience or fortitude to listen to him complain about his book’s lack of progress. One day she bumped into him at the market.
“By the way,” he said, after they had checked in about their health, their families, and the usual, “I’ve put the book aside for six months. To let it marinate.”
“Marinate?” Monique said, trying but failing to hold her tongue.
“Yes. That’s my process,” Jonathan said proudly.
“Lovely,” Monique said. “Say hello to everyone.” With that, she hurried off in the direction of the avocados, which were likely to be ripe at this time of the season.
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Eric Maisel is an internationally-respected diplomat coach who specializes in creativity coaching, existential wellness coaching, and relationship coaching. He trains coaches and provides workshops and webinars nationally and internationally.
Dr. Maisel is the author of 50+ books, writes the “Rethinking Mental Health” blog for Psychology Today (with 3.5 million views), blogs for The Good Men Project and Fine Art America, serves as lead editor for the Ethics International Press Critical Psychology and Critical Psychiatry series, and is co-founder of Purposely, the life navigation app.
Dr. Maisel’s books include Fearless Creating, Rethinking Depression, Coaching the Artist Within, The Van Gogh Blues, The Power of Daily Practice, Redesign Your Mind, and scores of other titles. He has been published by Penguin Random House, McGraw Hill, Rodale, Harper San Francisco, Shambhala, New World Library, and Conari/Mango, among many others.
Dr. Maisel has created three certificate programs with Noble-Manhattan Coaching, a Creativity Coach Certificate and Diploma Program, an Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program, and a Certified Relationship Coach program. With Lynda Monk of the International Association for Journal Writing, Dr. Maisel has created an Art of Journal Coaching Self-Study Plus program.
Dr. Maisel’s most recent books are Why Smart, Creative and Highly Sensitive People Hurt (2023), Affirmations for Self-Love (with Lynda Monk, 2024), Parents Who Bully (2024), and Choose Your Life Purposes (2024). Dr. Maisel lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and maintains a thriving international coaching practice.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
