My world of dreams and imagination. Everyone there is perfect. The world is without flaws.
But when I came out of that imaginative, hypothetical world, reality hit hard. It brings some uncomfortable truths with it, which no one really wants to face or accept.
#1. The more we care about someone, the more we lose.
Philip was in one-sided love with his classmate. Initially, for a few months, she showed some kind of interest in him. She was confusing Philip with mixed signals.
Philip was thinking that if not today, then tomorrow she will agree to be her because, deep inside, she also loves him better. And with that in mind, he kept fulfilling her every wish. He took very good care of her, but she kept giving mixed signals for a year, and then the girl finally said she was no longer interested in him.
He was broke at the time. He felt like he was experiencing some kind of physical pain. He went into depression and felt like there was no more happiness for him in this world.
But hopefully, now he is good and happy because of the new friends he has. The friends supported him and taught him how to enjoy life.
So when we start caring for someone a lot, it simply means we are investing ourselves in them, as Philip does. And if they are gone and no longer reciprocating, feel some kind of loss.
This is the truth, but it is painful to acknowledge.
Additionally, it’s been said that you LOSE IMPORTANCE when you are constantly available to someone.
For example, if there is a scarcity or demand for something, it automatically increases in value, so it is important to keep balance (and not give much of us to someone else). That’s why setting boundaries is important.
For Example, if something is in scarcity or in high demand, its value goes up naturally. That’s why it’s important to keep things in balance (and not give too much of ourselves to other people).
This is why it’s important to set limits.
#2. We have to let go of people sometimes to get back to ourselves.
Things get better with time, right?
But to do that, we need to stop loving people who have cheated on us or abandoned us when we needed them.
Because they have power over you when we think about them over and over. To not love someone is not the same as to hate them. It’s all about letting go of that person and moving on.
If not, we’ll always be sad, wondering “What if it hadn’t happened?” and daydreaming about things that aren’t possible.
It will only waste our time and make us sad. And the most important thing for us is to prioritize our well-being and happiness.
#3. No matter what, you will be judged
Sarah didn’t start the thing she had planned to do since she was a kid. She always meant to make videos of her daily life to post on social media as content, but she never did. She believed that people would judge her on social media.
And, When Meera got a promotion at work, the same thing happened. Behind the scenes, everyone was assuming that she was promoted because she was close to the boss.
Judging is a game.
If someone is not happy or jealous of your success or what you’ve done, they will always find a way to judge and criticize you.
No matter what, someone will always judge you. That’s why being afraid of being judged is not a good idea. We can’t follow our dreams if we let this bother us.
#4. When you choose peace, it comes with lots of goodbyes.
Recently, he began living as a paid guest rather than in the college dormitory. In the college dormitory, there were a total of six students living together. But none of them had good behavior toward him.
He wanted to study, and they wanted to party. His roommates constantly made him feel inferior. His inner peace was gone. And made a tough decision. He left the college dormitory and began living in PG. Because of that, the whole group broke their friendship with him. But there was peace; no one was there to irritate him.
Now he can focus on his studies, fulfill his ambitions, and do whatever he wants. Despite losing his buddies, he felt some kind of rebirth and independence.
When we choose peace, do you know what we are doing?
We are setting limits and boundaries. This is something that others may not find acceptable. So, sometimes, it is possible to say goodbye to people and places we love. And yet, the peace we get in our minds often outweighs the comfort we lose.
Peace is more than just not having any problems; it’s living a life that is in line with your health.
#5. A Clear Rejection is Better Than Fake Promises
Clear rejections are an example of straightforwardness.
Just like above in the case of Philip, if he got a clear rejection instead of fake promises and mixed signals, he may not have had that kind of heartbreak.
You know rejections are hard to deliver and receive, but the most important thing is that they prevent misunderstandings and false hope. When we actually give someone a clear-cut rejection of something, we are being honest and respectful toward them.
By doing this, they can both easily move on and let go of the past, avoiding a cycle of doubt and broken vows. In the end, clear rejections lead to a more peaceful and honest way of life.
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I hope you enjoyed reading. This blog post comes from what I’ve learned, what I think, and what I believe. Sign up for my Medium newsletter.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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