In 2014, I was on every dating app known to humans because I was looking for my future wife.
OKCupid, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Craigslist, Kijiji. Okay, maybe not those last two.
Soon after, I met a girl on OKCupid, and we had hit it off. For the sake of privacy, I’m going to refer to her by another name, so let’s call her Colleen. Colleen and I started to chat on OKCupid, and we ultimately decided to go out.
Now, I’m going to interrupt this story with a related tangent. Anyone who knows me knows that I have social anxiety. For years, it impacted my romantic life as I found myself struggling to be myself. I avoided many social situations, including dating. I felt like I had put up this wall that prevented me from getting to know other people and others from getting to know me. And my date with Colleen was no different.
Anyways, that was some needed context, so let’s get back to the story.
One snowy evening in February, Colleen and I decided to meet up at Aroma Espresso Bar.
I was like a scared little chipmunk wanting to crawl back into its hole. I was just quietly sipping my London Fog tea latte, not knowing what to say. Throughout the date, I said the words, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say” at least 5 times (I’ve counted).
One excruciating hour later, we parted ways, knowing we would never see each other again. So, things were going to end… only not quite.
Like many Torontonians, I rely on public transit and I headed back to the nearest subway station.
Of course, there she was on the subway platform, waiting for the train too. I thought to myself “please don’t make eye contact,” “please don’t make eye contact,” “please don’t make eye contact.” But of course, we made eye contact so there was no avoiding her. I said something ridiculous like “fancy meeting you here” or “long time no see.”
We went on the subway together, both of us heading north. We sat next to each other, but we weren’t talking.
As awkward as it was, technically, this counts as a second date, right?
Then, of course, there was a subway delay. Because we can always rely on Toronto’s public transit system to intervene in our lives at the worst possible times.
The subway was short-turning, and we both got off. Because it was freezing, we took shelter inside Tim Horton’s.
This date was simply refusing to call it quits.
In case you were wondering, we were still barely talking. We just made the odd glances at each other, as if we were telepathically communicating to each other “what is happening right now? What are we doing here?”
Inside Tim Horton’s, I got myself a hot chocolate and I asked her if she wanted anything. She got a hot chocolate too. Maybe there is hope after all. Unlikely.
We still needed to get home, so I called my dad, who came to pick me up. Again, trying to be polite, I awkwardly asked the girl if she wanted a ride home. I didn’t think she would say yes.
But of course, she did.
Now, I’m sitting in the car with my dad and… some random girl I didn’t think I’d see again.
My dad proceeded to introduce himself to my non-future wife.
But after that, the car was silent. I can see my dad looking at me through the rearview window, smiling through the mirror and winking like he was impressed that I had a girl in the backseat.
The car ride lasted 15 minutes but it felt like a lifetime. We finally got to Colleen’s place and we dropped her off.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking at this point: Colleen and I shared a subway delay together, and she even met my dad. We definitely got married, right?
Nope. I never saw her again.
It was just a dreadfully long romantic date with someone I had no chemistry with that finally came to an end.
Again, this occurred in 2014.
It’s ten years later and I’m now engaged to a spectacular woman who, I might add, has met my dad and with whom I can sit comfortably during a subway delay.
Sometimes, you have to endure embarrassingly awkward dates that don’t end until you meet the one for you.
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Previously Published on Medium
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