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I just took a test that measures the three “Dark Triad” traits: Machiavellianism, Narcissism, and Psychopathy. My results? Well, I’m not a narcissist or a psychopath, but it turns out I scored a little higher than average in Machiavellianism.
According to openpsychometrics.org:
Machiavellianism is the personality trait of being unprincipled and manipulative, cynical and an acceptance of “by whatever means necessary”. It is name[d] after the Italian Renaissance political philosopher Niccolò Machiavelli who argued that it was good for politicians to be deceitful because it made them more effective.
Narcissism is the personality trait of vanity, self-superiority, entitlement, dominance, and a craving [of] admiration and submission. People high in narcissism believe that they deserve more than anybody else because they are better than everybody else. The trait is named after a character from Roman poetry who fell in love with his own reflection.
Psychopathy is the personality trait of being low-empathy and high-impulsivity. It is a persistent pattern of deviant behavior and a disregard for others. Psychopathy is the trait most closely connected to criminal behavior.
I value honesty and integrity.
I would never describe myself as unprincipled or deceitful, but I can see why I’m a little “Machiavellian.”
I’ve held a lot of leadership positions where I was required to manage a lot of people without getting personally invested in all of them.
Your brain automatically adapts to those kinds of experiences by making mental shortcuts that often prioritize positive results over expressing how you really feel about certain things.
I know how to be nice to people I don’t like, and I know how to get them to like me so that things can stay drama-free.
You could just as easily call it “diplomatic” to mean the same thing, but with a positive nuance.
My background in pickup artistry also led to habits of constantly putting my best foot forward, which I suppose might seem Machiavellian to some.
A lot of guys in that community had manipulative attitudes because they were scared of how women would think of who they really were on the inside, but those of us who approached the subject in a way that focused on real self-development “fixed” that inside self, and thus learned to attract women through authenticity rather than deception.
Would it be better if I scored higher in all three Dark Triad traits, though?
It’s assumed by many that women are attracted to dark triad traits in men.
The “Red Pill” people love to say this. It confirms their bias that women are immoral or inferior to men in some way.
There have been studies about women’s attraction to dark triad traits. They suggest that women have higher short-term attraction for men with dark triad traits, but less long-term relationship satisfaction with those same men.
I know that my target audience cares much more about the short-term attraction part than the long-term relationship satisfaction part.
You need the short-term stuff before you can even have a chance at having the long-term stuff, right?
Alright, then. Let’s just talk about the short-term stuff.
First, the potential weaknesses of the studies:
If you’ve ever taken a university class in any science-related field, you already know the challenges in operationalizing variables. Human language has inherent limitations that always presents subjectivity in any measurement in a social science.
The methodologies of these studies weren’t perfect, and some even had issues with sample size.
Regardless, let’s still assume that there was something truly appealing about men with these dark triad traits.
Was it the three traits themselves that were inherently attractive to women?
Part of the discussion in these studies suggested that what actually attracted these women was the confidence that was perceived from Machiavellians, Narcissists, and Psychopaths.
Dark triad men were seen as more confident than their non-dark triad counterparts in these artificially constructed trials.
We’ve all heard time and time again that confidence is incredibly attractive to women.
The only people who refuse to believe that at this point are those insane incels who would rather see themselves as victims than to make any positive changes.
You can be attractive to women if you develop confidence.
And you don’t need dark triad traits to do that.
In fact, it’d be better for you if you did the opposite.
I’m here to argue that there is no need for us to embrace the dark triad traits because the polar opposites of those characteristics can be just as attractive to women, if not more.
Rather than being Machiavellian…
If you are honest and authentic, it’s actually much easier for women to find you attractive.
And becoming naturally confident comes with the territory of authenticity.
If you live your life in accordance to your core values, if you do not compromise on your integrity, you will become more grounded in your masculinity, and confidence will follow.
And the satisfaction of being desired for who you really are will always feel better than tricking someone into liking a false presentation.
Rather than being narcissistic…
Imagine a narcissist who brags about all his accomplishments vs. a humble guy who also has amazing accomplishments but never brags about them.
You can tell he has tons of confidence precisely because he seems to have zero need to prove himself.
He’s comfortable if he doesn’t get attention because he’s fully self-validated already.
It’s like how the richest man in the room is always the one who’s wearing the most casual outfit.
If you can’t recognize how much more attractive that is than your classic self-felating narcissist, I don’t know what to tell ya.
Rather than being psychopathic…
If you practice empathy and constantly put yourself in other people’s shoes, you’re going to have a much deeper understanding of others.
It will allow you to have more genuine connections where there are more win-win relationships.
Combining confidence with empathy is the perfect formula for interpersonal leadership.
And having great leadership qualities will make you more attractive to women than almost anything else in the world.
Nice guys finish last?
Unconfident guys finish last.
Any sort of confident man finishes first.
And a good man who is confident will get better results than a bad one.
Having trouble becoming confident with women? Learn how to develop real confidence in Chapter 14 of my book, Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women.
Thanks for reading📖, highlighting🖍️, clapping👏, and commenting💬️. As a “Friend of Medium,” I try my best to return the favor to fellow writers every day.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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