A lot of new and interesting concepts have come my way through the submissions I receive as a Lead Editor at The Good Men Project. Touching on various topics, ranging from the importance of family to childhood trauma, many are the times that I have sat back in my dining room chair (where I work) and pondered the mysteries of the universe (or at least those of my teeny-tiny world).
I must admit, spirituality has been on my mind quite a bit, lately. I have seen some great submissions that touch on the subject, but it is, perhaps, the craziness of my own life that draws my attention to something bigger (and better) outside of myself for guidance and direction. It wasn’t that long ago that I went over the 12-Steps with my men’s recovery group at my rehab unit. We discussed ‘prayer’ as a way to deal with issues around stress and coping and it was absolutely galvanizing for me.
We discussed not only the importance of believing in something besides ourselves but prayer’s power to overcome struggle and self-doubt. The importance of having a spiritual foundation to draw upon as a moral compass was also entertained. Most importantly, though, we discussed how to pray correctly. My immediate reaction to that concept? “There is a correct way to pray?”
Like most good Catholic boys, I always approached prayer in unadulterated supplication. “God, you are awesome and I totally suck at the moment. Please help me out cause I am pretty useless right now.” Okay, maybe the nuns didn’t teach me to do it that way, exactly. I am pretty sure that was the gist of it, though.
What ‘the boys’ and I discussed, however, was something different. The marvelous curriculum my facility uses spelled out a very different formula for prayer that was hardly so self-deprecating. Actually, it was empowering. Who knew?
What we learned was how to approach prayer from the perspective of addiction. We shouldn’t ask God (as we know him) to swoop down in a deux machina fashion and take away our problems. Instead, we must ask for the strength and guidance to deal with our problems and make better decisions. This idea isn’t novel at all, really. It is, however, to someone with an addictive mind, whose propensity tends to avert responsibility and accountability, pushing these things, as well as blame, onto others.
If you really think about it, there have been many instances where answers to prayers and fixes “from beyond” have come into our lives at the most opportune of moments. Unfortunately, a lot of the time our eyes have not been open enough to see them for what they are. Existing in crisis tends to do that, throwing us into severe cases of tunnel vision. One of the questions that were posed was that if God cared about us, why doesn’t he take away our suffering. My answer? “Because he does.” Wiping our slates clean in a snap teaches us nothing. Where is the growth in that?
In the end, it is through our blunders, stumbles, and outright falls that we develop wisdom. So, by going through hard times with divine help, we develop and grow as individuals. Ultimately, we evolve into better versions of ourselves. Isn’t that what any loving parent would want for their children?
I would hope so.
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About David Estringel
David Estringel is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist, and Clinical Assistant Professor at Our Lady of the Lake University's Worden School of Social Services. He is also an avid reader and poet. Writer of fiction, creative non-fiction, & essays. Future plans include teaching college English and continuing to work on his first book of poetry The Spaces in Between. His work has been accepted and/or published by Specter Magazine, Literary Juice, Foliate Oak Magazine, Terror House Magazine, Expat Press, 50 Haikus, littledeathlit, Down in the Dirt, Route 7 Review, Setu Bilingual Journal, Paper Trains, The Elixir Magazine, Soft Cartel, Harbinger Asylum, Briars Lit, Open Arts Forum, Cajun Mutt Press, Former People Journal, The Ugly Writers, Writ in Dust, Cephalopress, Twist in Time, Merak Magazine, Salt Water Soul, Cherry House Press, Subterranean Blue Poetry, Printed Words, Sunflower Sutras, Tulip Tree Publishing, Salt, PPP Ezine, Digging through the Fat, Haiku Journal, Foxhole Magazine, The Basil O'Flaherty, Three Line Poetry, Agony Opera, Channillo, and The Good Men Project. He is currently a Contributing Editor (fiction) at Red Fez, Lead Editor/columnist at The Good Men Project, an editor/writer at The Elixir Magazine, and columnist at Channillo. David can be found on Twitter (@The_Booky_Man) and his website at https://davidaestringel.com.
