The Honest Path

…

Do you do what you think you’re supposed to be doing?

Is your job, your lifestyle, your joy what you want it to be?

Can you say a hard, out-loud, affirming yes…without being in denial about making yourself feel better?

…

Truly, if you stop reading this for just a moment, and ask yourself, “Why do I feel so much anxiety? Why do I feel so tired? So, lost? So comparably insignificant?”

And? What did you come up with?

I bet most of us manifest some sort of denial.

“I haven’t slept. There’s no time. I don’t eat correctly. I’m not talented, and never was. The world doesn’t see me. It’s too big. It’s too distracting. Everyone is shallow. Creativity and sacrifice isn’t worth loss of stability.”

Every one of those is an excuse.

Why? Because I’ve said them.

All of them.

It’s not that we have to be perfect.

But being what we want to be, living the way that feels right and full, doesn’t require perfect.

It requires doing what must be done.

…

Do I write as much as I’d like?

No.

And that is a dishonor to my own heart and soul.

I know that.

You would think that being blue-collar would have made me pretty tough, but really, it never eased any of my internal anguish. It distracted me from it. Working physical labor is demanding. And it takes a lot of focus too to be present enough to not hurt yourself, someone else, or create a potential hazard.

I’ve had electrical panels blow up in my face.

I’ve been doused in all sorts of dusts and oils and insulations.

I’ve been in 140 degree attics for hours, more repeatedly than probably ninety percent of not just people in general, but anyone in the electrical trade. Its from a unique cross of being conveniently small of stature, and also continuing to do so at the age I’m at now.

It’s a weird pride that I have to push the boundary of exhaustion in the middle of the summer, where I wouldn’t be found if I experienced heat-stroke and collapsed.

I’ve also built multi-million dollar homes. I’ve helped hang 20,000 dollar light fixtures. I’ve pulled service conductors through a conduit with a truck.

I’ve worked in some of the harshest colds and most obnoxious heats.

I’m sturdy in a way most are not.

I’m proud of that.

Really, the work itself has made me tougher against the physicality of the world. It’s made me confident in a way I would have never been otherwise.

But, I wouldn’t say it’s made me a more mentally, spiritually, high self-esteemed kind of tough.

And it’s taken me a long time to wise up to that.

So, what is it that I’m supposed to do? What should anyone do?

Listen to the whispers.

…

Why?

Well, I’ve searched for the soul through the last few years, but only when I finally allowed myself the unprejudiced view point of believing in a soul, spirituality, and something more supernatural beyond intellect and objectivity.

Once I realized that there are multiple pillars that define beautiful existence, my heart opened.

My empathy broadened, and my self-belief finally felt encouraged.

And it was this that was the catalyst that led me to believe that everyone has something better to give the world…and that so many suffer deeply from not knowing it.

It’s why I question everything.

It’s why I post.

It’s why I ask.

But, I digress.

…

I think the robustness of the mind is built in two ways, one healthy, and the other not so much. And I think that what makes us mentally unstoppable, adaptable, and resolute is to comply to the guidance of our soul.

I think that humans can either force their mental compliance. To get the emotional and timid sides of them to submit to their will. And, I think these people, the one’s who don’t seek to free their soul, but cage it in order to clear their path, make great movers of the world. But, they’re not passionate. They’re living and making things happen, only by coercion and self-submission. They’re trampling over purpose and meaning and self-fulfillment.

Then there are those that have the courage to live through their soul. It’s those that find themselves insanely different, and fighting themselves on what it means to be themselves. It’s those that listen to the whispers. Those that don’t just find peace and synchronicity with how they feel their lives should manifest, but they end up being just as bold, initiating, decisive, and strong as those that force it.

But, by living in parallel with one’s purpose.

And I think that’s the question I’m trying to answer here:

Is it just purpose…or is it your purpose?

Is it supposed to be boring to everyone else? Is it supposed to be misunderstood and ignored by the masses?

And I think that answer is yes.

I think that we are blinded by the greatest of all time, just based off of their popularity. But no matter how big the name or movement, they always have deniers, haters, and masses that find them immoral and even evil.

…

And that’s what we all have to face when we decide we were meant for something.

Our timidity and our innate ability to fall prey to our distractions, probably just means that we don’t believe in that last sentence. It means we’re trying to hard to find a way to make a world where we don’t have to be hated, misunderstood or indifferent.

Even the soul comes with it’s own sacrifice.

It may be strong, and passionate, and insanely endless…but it’s susceptible to exile and volatility and opposition.

But, I can tell you from experience:

The long consistent misery of not giving in to it fully, to reason your way out of what “you must do”, and never being truly courageous enough to give it the air it needs to breathe, for years on end, that my friends is true hell.

And that’s why we must never give in to the world’s demands.

We must create when we can, then do it more.

Find ourselves, finally, in the dream itself, instead of before it.

Truth and Love, Reader.

If you like my writing and the things I question, you might(I mean…probably) also like my newsletter. If not, you can still get all my stories here on Medium!

Substack is where you can subscribe to my newsletter and get not just my medium stories, but chat with me directly, have access to all of my content in one place, and have access to The Art of Questioning audio. Only at https://zackaryhenson.substack.com

There are so many great stories on Medium! If you want to have access to some of the best writing by thousands of creators, start your membership with the link below, which will also support my writing.

Remember…question everything! https://zackaryhenson.medium.com/subscribe