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Here is a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.

Do We Need Dating Apps?

A Pew survey found that more than a third of dating app users actually feel more pessimistic about dating after being on the apps.

Will that stop us?

For a minute, maybe. But long term, no.

Why? Because unfortunately, due to the busy nature of our lives and the difficulty of meeting strangers in coffee shops, we still feel we need them.

If your experience with dating apps is its own kind of toxic relationship — one that never seems to get better but keeps drawing you back in anyway — I made this video for you. To restore some optimism. To give you an obvious but much-forgotten secret to finding love. And even, dare I say, a way out.

Over 17 years, I’ve coached millions of people to find love. I’ve written two New York Times bestsellers on the subject, and I feel fortunate to be considered the number one expert in my field.

Every year, people ask me what my number one recommended dating app is for those who are serious about finding love.

I’ve never had an answer.

But if you stay until the end of this video, I’m going to tell you what it is.

Spoiler alert: It’s not a dating app.

A Necessary Evil?

I was inspired to make this video when I came across a Reddit post titled, “Everybody hates dating apps and it makes me sad.”

I loved that — because she wasn’t saying the apps made her sad. She was saying that everyone hating on them made her sad.

She wrote:

“Dating apps have undoubtedly become a necessary evil. Even if you’re not on them, somebody you meet in the wild probably is.”

That’s the contradiction of modern dating.

On one hand, we hate the apps. On the other, they’re where everybody else is.

She continued:

“My free time is incredibly limited right now. I don’t really have the time to indulge in an additional hobby that might increase my chances of meeting someone.”

That is so real.

Most of us don’t have hours to manufacture magical meet-cutes in our everyday lives.

Apps may be flawed, but for many people, they’re the only practical option.

Then she wrote:

“The cons are endless — fake profiles, ghosting, too many options. But if the alternative is never meeting anyone, I’d rather be on a few apps and deal with some disappointment.”

I loved that.

She’s not romantic about the apps. But she’d rather try and get hurt than do nothing at all.

But the last part of what she wrote really hit me:

“It just feels isolating to hear people constantly parroting how no good ever comes of the apps when for a lot of people it feels like the only option — especially because everyone you’re into in real life who is single is probably on them too.”

That’s insightful.

The people on the apps aren’t a different species. They’re the same people you’d meet in a coffee shop.

It just feels different because you met them while scrolling on the toilet instead of ordering a latte.

I like this woman.

What Separates People Who Find Love From Those Who Give Up

She may be tired, but she’s an optimist.

And in nearly two decades of coaching, I can tell you: optimism is often what separates people who find love from those who give up.

My wife Audrey once told me about a friend who finally opened up — and then got her heart broken.

She said to Audrey, “I don’t know how you do it. Now I just never want to date again.”

Audrey remembered it because, unlike her friend who shut down, she always chose to focus on the people she hadn’t met yet — even when she was hurt.

Staying open and positive about love doesn’t just make you feel better. It massively affects your chances of actually finding it.

When we stay optimistic, we keep shining brightly.

And that is the only way the person who’s right for you is going to find you.

Remember: the person who’s right for you is finding it just as difficult to find you as you are to find them.

You can’t give up on each other.

Don’t Let the Wrong People Get in the Way

I coached a guy recently who wanted to retreat from dating after two different people on the apps completely ghosted him after great dates.

Here’s what I told him:

It’s okay to pause if you need to. But don’t let the wrong people get in the way of you and your person.

When we’re single, it’s strange to think that the person we’ll end up with is out there right now — probably with no idea we exist.

And yet one day, that stranger could be sitting across from you at dinner… standing next to you in the kitchen you now share… or holding your child in their arms.

We’ll look at that stranger and realize they’ve become one of the most important people in our lives.

Among billions of lives unfolding right now, there is someone you haven’t met yet who you will go on to love — and who will love you back.

Nothing is promised in life.

But it’s all to play for.

That’s why optimism isn’t cheesy.

It’s practical.

It keeps you in the game long enough for love to find you.

The Emotional Gap Found in Reality

But — and this is why that Reddit post made me mad — optimism alone isn’t enough.

She deserves better.

You deserve better.

Dating apps incentivize all the wrong things: addictive swiping and fast-food dating.

They put people looking for relationships and people looking for hookups in the same shaker… then shake it up and see what happens.

What happens is sheer randomness.

Randomness will always produce some couples.

But for most, it’s painful. It’s exhausting. It makes them feel disposable.

Even if you meet people who want the same thing, finding someone you’re actually compatible with can feel impossible.

For years, people have told me, “Matthew, if you created an app designed for people who want real relationships, I would join in a heartbeat.”

And my answer was always no.

The world did not need another dating app.

But something has changed.

A new wave of companies believes they have the answer to the necessary evil of dating apps: AI companions.

A report earlier this year showed that AI emotional companion products surged five-fold in just six months.

They say it’s difficult to find someone in real life who is as enthusiastic and focused on you as an AI companion can be.

They provide a safe and comfortable space for emotional interaction — filling “the emotional gap found in reality.”

Think about that.

The emotional gap found in reality.

In their conclusion, they say more innovative applications will emerge “like mushrooms after rain.”

I’ve seen The Last of Us.

I know what happens when surprising mushrooms start emerging everywhere.

I get it.

An AI companion is extremely compelling when real people have let us down so many times.

But this cannot be the conclusion we come to as a society.

Sync: The World’s Most Intelligent Matchmaker

For the first time in my career, I felt a deep urge to actually do something about this.

So nine months ago, I decided to stop standing on the sidelines and build something different.

It’s called Sync.

And it is not a dating app.

Sync is the world’s first AI matchmaker and relationship coach combined.

Instead of swiping, Sync talks with you — asking the kind of questions I would.

Getting to know not just what you say you want, but who you really are and what you truly need — sometimes even better than you know yourself.

Then it uses that insight to introduce you to people you are deeply compatible with.

Not just another chat that goes nowhere — but someone actually worth meeting in real life.

You’re going to have the world’s most intelligent matchmaker in your pocket.

And Sync isn’t built to keep you online.

It’s built to get you offline — into better dates faster, and into relationships that last.

Success Measured by Real Relationships

Dating apps celebrate swipes and signups.

At Sync, we’re measuring success differently.

We’re measuring how many second offline dates we create in the real world.

And how many five-year anniversaries we help people reach.

Unlike apps that vanish after you match, Sync stays with you as your coach — guiding you through the highs and lows of dating and relationships.

So you’re not just finding love.

You’re learning how to keep it.

This isn’t some tech experiment.

As someone who has spent their life helping people find love, this is my ambitious attempt to give you something better than what’s currently being offered.

Where other companies use AI to replace human connection, we’re using AI to create it.

This isn’t about spending more hours online.

It’s about finally getting you beyond dating and into real-life connection.

The Beginning of the Most Important Story of Your Life

We’re starting with a private test in New York City.

Version one won’t be perfect — and that’s intentional.

If you join, you’re not just an early user. You’re a co-creator helping shape Sync into its best version.

If you’re in New York — or know someone who is — join the waitlist using the link below.

Dating should not feel like that woman on Reddit described it: a necessary evil.

It should feel like what it truly is — the beginning of the most important story of your life.

That’s why I built Sync.

And I cannot wait for you to try it.

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

Blog → https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/ Facebook → https://facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thematthewh… Twitter → https://twitter.com/matthewhussey ▼ Connect with Stephen ▼ Youtube → https://bit.ly/StephenHusseyYoutube Instagram → http://bit.ly/StephenHusseyIG

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